“I’m sorry to tell you…”

It was July 13th, 2013, a day that will be forever ingrained in my memory. I was sent to the emergency department immediately following an MRI. Alone, l heard the terrifying words, “I’m sorry to tell you…you have a brain tumour”. A mother of three teenage children at the time, it almost ended my life. I am passionate about helping others not make the same mistakes I did during that year of my life. Crises come to us in many ways. How can we be empowered to survive and find our “new normal”?

It’s Brain Tumour Awareness Month in Canada. Let’s join together to raise awareness!

• This is a list of common symptoms which, alone or combined, can be caused by a brain tumour (malignant or non-malignant). If you, or someone you know is experiencing any of them, consult a doctor. I ignored them for too long!

  • Behavioural changes

  • Cognitive changes

  • Dizziness or unsteadiness

  • Double or blurred vision

  • Frequent headaches

  • Hearing impairment

  • Morning nausea and vomiting

  • Seizures

  • Weakness or paralysis

• Free resources can be ordered by mail from the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada and supports are available for both patients and caregivers. Youtube also has webinars on a host of topics. There are over 120 different types of brain tumours, making treatment complex.

• Although as many as 60% of children with brain tumours will survive, they are often left with long term side effects.

• In May 2019 the Brain Tumour Registry of Canada was launched with the goal of collecting data on every malignant and non-malignant brain tumour in Canada. The first Canadian Survival Report is now available with excellent information which will drive research. The Foundation is committed to research that is changing treatment options and improving the quality of life for patients.

• Every day 27 Canadians hear the same shocking words I did almost 7 years ago. On Saturday, June 27th Canadians from coast to coast will join together for our virtual community walks. My team, “The Tumour Raiders” is only one of hundreds across Canada.

  “Turn May Grey ” has interesting meaning this year with hair salons closed. Many of us certainly are, in a way we never predicted! There are many ways to support: join or sponsor a team or individual for the walk in June, make a donation, share this information to raise awareness or cheer us on!

My Gift to You - WHO WOULD HAVE IMAGINED?

Six weeks ago, who were you spending time with? What were you doing?

Two of our children were finishing mid-terms in pursuit of their degrees. Our oldest was in the midst of his research, studying for his PHD. Ken and I were ripping out our old kitchen and replacing all the “pieces” step by step.

I was excited to have been a guest speaker at three events at the end of February and beginning of March and looking forward to those booked for the future. My college students had all begun their field placements with success. My podcast series was off and running and second book entering the cover design stage. My husband, a retired police officer, was working part time as a FEDEx driver.

FULL STOP.

We were hearing reports of a virus overseas. We’ve had them before. Wasn’t that too far away to really worry about in Essex County? The Covid-19 journal I began a month ago attests to how quickly things changed… daily if not hourly. Unprecedented, to say the least.

If you’re out of the country, come home.

Your travel insurance will be suspended in 10 days.

The border is closed. Vultures are cleaning out the grocery stores.

Local shops, small business owners are shut down with two days notice.

Schools and childcare centres are closing.

Only essential services remain open.

HOLD ON!

Retired medical practitioners and first responders are being hired back to work. Health care workers are on the front line. We’re searching for masks, face shields, medical gowns and ventilators. Field hospitals are being created. Businesses are re-tooling to make what we desperately need to survive. An entire generation in Italy and Spain have now been taken by this thing. It’s coming our way. One. Ten. Fifty. Almost three hundred…confirmed cases in our county and continuing to grow. People are ill, fighting for their lives. Long term care and retirement homes are locked down. Over one million people in Canada are now without employment.

Today, we say, “We have to flatten the curve.”

Today, nurses, doctors and first responders are staying in hotels or living in trailers to keep their families safe.

Today, we’re checking in on family and friends through online video chats.

Today, elementary, secondary, college and university students and teachers have moved to online learning, including myself and my children.

Today, we line up and wait six feet away from each other to enter a pharmacy or grocery store.

Today, we suffer heartache and can’t visit those in hospitals or palliative care…can’t come together to grieve the loss of a friend or loved one.

This is more than real. It’s incomprehensible. The coming weeks and months will be like nothing we have known before. People we know and love will fall ill. Businesses will close their doors permanently. People will have no job to go back to. Reality is about to smack each of us in the face, if it hasn’t already.

The world is giving us time to re-set in countless ways. Environmentally, we’ve had a drop in global emissions, waterways are running clear, air pollution has dropped substantially in major cities around the world. We have direct evidence of the positive impact we’ve have as human beings on our planet, because we’ve been forced to. We can’t ignore this and go back to the way things were. We have a responsibility to learn and re-envision a new normal with the power to create what that new normal will be - for ourselves, our communities and this world. This time can also be seen as a gift for those of us blessed to be staying home. Time to self-reflect, heal, read, be with our families...Time to find ourselves and what really brings us happiness and fulfillment...Time to take a stance and decide that we’re not going back to the treadmill of “stuff”. We’ll move forward with a new sense of purpose and realization of what really matters. Let’s not settle for anything less.

Today, I’m making masks as my “gift” to people. Who would have ever imagined?

Conscious, positive choices

As an educator for 31 years, I loved my career. The concrete evidence of the direct impact I had on my students drove me forward every day, regardless of what role I was in. That’s what it’s all about, and should be.

Yet, there is conflict, too often. Whatever our profession, conflict is part of life. Not only in the world of work, but in our own homes. Aren’t conflicts a good thing? Shouldn’t they drive us to discussions and deeper understandings of the issue and possible resolutions? Without them, how would any organization move forward? Differences of opinion are wonderful and needed, but when we react and don’t use the tools at our disposal, the end result is increased worry, stress levels and negative affects on our own health. How do we take personal control and rise above it?

Awareness. The first step to facing conflict has to be becoming aware of our personal responses in any given situation. Do we engage in the negative dialogue in the lunchroom and perpetuate the downward spiral? Do we complain about co-workers, family members or neighbours? Do we argue with our partners over things that are inconsequential? Why do we initiate or engage in negativity?

What if? What if the next time someone tries to pull us into their own conflict, we choose to not engage? Do we choose to not enter that downward spiral? Do we choose to become aware that participating may have negative consequences? What if we could become aware that our own actions could be the cause of conflict before it even starts? I’m not suggesting we walk away from issues that matter, but how much of the stress in our lives is avoidable by conscious choice?

Over the holidays my husband and oldest son began a conversation about the pros and cons of proportional representation in Canadian politics. They are polar opposites, and needless to say, they each spoke their piece. I caught myself wanting to jump in, getting upset over some of the arguments that went against what I believed was right. I entered “defensive mode,” so to say. Because I caught myself, I immediately made a decision to not engage, but to listen and ask questions. I listened to understand, stopping myself from becoming upset. It made a difference. The conversation continued while I agreed to disagree with some, but not all of the points that were made.

I made a conscious decision not to engage and “argue” my points, finding middle ground. My blood pressure stayed steady, with no anger, no stress. I continued to enjoy our time together throughout the evening. No one walked away, upset about something we each care about.

As we move through our day, we can learn to be aware of what we bring to any given situation. We can pause before engaging and consider what other options are at our disposal. We can reset our reactionary mode by learning to be aware and making the conscious choice to rise above what is pulling ourselves and others down. We won’t only decrease our own stress levels, but those around us and maybe, just maybe… change the outcome to a positive one!

Spotlight on Lynn McLaughlin and her Award-Winning Audiobook

We are proud to share that Steering Through It  has won an award for non-fiction audiobook in the Readers’ Favorite 2019 competition. If you follow me, you ‘ve already read about the journey to select the amazing narrator, Marnye-Young. It’s now time to thank Silvi, who graciously posted this spotlight. I love, “Get Your Story On”, because we all have a story, don’t we? Sylvi has encapsulated many voices through our social media platforms, interviews and podcast.

As an author, there are countless decisions to make before your book is launched. One of the most important is what platforms to use. In this world of craziness, many of us are listening to podcasts, music or books or watching movies … all to find some balance. It may be what grounds us during a long drive to and from work, or something we do to relax. I thought it ws important to offer an audiobook version of Steering Through It to meet that growing need.  If this is something you are interested in, there are many ways to find what you are looking for, at minimal cost including Audible, Itunes, Google Play and Downpour.

I hope you’ll check out this link and all that is has to offer. Thank you for following and celebrating this community of readers, writers, survivors, family and friends.