My Gift to You - WHO WOULD HAVE IMAGINED?

Six weeks ago, who were you spending time with? What were you doing?

Two of our children were finishing mid-terms in pursuit of their degrees. Our oldest was in the midst of his research, studying for his PHD. Ken and I were ripping out our old kitchen and replacing all the “pieces” step by step.

I was excited to have been a guest speaker at three events at the end of February and beginning of March and looking forward to those booked for the future. My college students had all begun their field placements with success. My podcast series was off and running and second book entering the cover design stage. My husband, a retired police officer, was working part time as a FEDEx driver.

FULL STOP.

We were hearing reports of a virus overseas. We’ve had them before. Wasn’t that too far away to really worry about in Essex County? The Covid-19 journal I began a month ago attests to how quickly things changed… daily if not hourly. Unprecedented, to say the least.

If you’re out of the country, come home.

Your travel insurance will be suspended in 10 days.

The border is closed. Vultures are cleaning out the grocery stores.

Local shops, small business owners are shut down with two days notice.

Schools and childcare centres are closing.

Only essential services remain open.

HOLD ON!

Retired medical practitioners and first responders are being hired back to work. Health care workers are on the front line. We’re searching for masks, face shields, medical gowns and ventilators. Field hospitals are being created. Businesses are re-tooling to make what we desperately need to survive. An entire generation in Italy and Spain have now been taken by this thing. It’s coming our way. One. Ten. Fifty. Almost three hundred…confirmed cases in our county and continuing to grow. People are ill, fighting for their lives. Long term care and retirement homes are locked down. Over one million people in Canada are now without employment.

Today, we say, “We have to flatten the curve.”

Today, nurses, doctors and first responders are staying in hotels or living in trailers to keep their families safe.

Today, we’re checking in on family and friends through online video chats.

Today, elementary, secondary, college and university students and teachers have moved to online learning, including myself and my children.

Today, we line up and wait six feet away from each other to enter a pharmacy or grocery store.

Today, we suffer heartache and can’t visit those in hospitals or palliative care…can’t come together to grieve the loss of a friend or loved one.

This is more than real. It’s incomprehensible. The coming weeks and months will be like nothing we have known before. People we know and love will fall ill. Businesses will close their doors permanently. People will have no job to go back to. Reality is about to smack each of us in the face, if it hasn’t already.

The world is giving us time to re-set in countless ways. Environmentally, we’ve had a drop in global emissions, waterways are running clear, air pollution has dropped substantially in major cities around the world. We have direct evidence of the positive impact we’ve have as human beings on our planet, because we’ve been forced to. We can’t ignore this and go back to the way things were. We have a responsibility to learn and re-envision a new normal with the power to create what that new normal will be - for ourselves, our communities and this world. This time can also be seen as a gift for those of us blessed to be staying home. Time to self-reflect, heal, read, be with our families...Time to find ourselves and what really brings us happiness and fulfillment...Time to take a stance and decide that we’re not going back to the treadmill of “stuff”. We’ll move forward with a new sense of purpose and realization of what really matters. Let’s not settle for anything less.

Today, I’m making masks as my “gift” to people. Who would have ever imagined?

If you could go back in time…

Once a month, I get together with two long time friends for a walk along the trails somewhere in our county. The Chrysler Greenway runs for 42 kms along the length of the old railway lines, giving us countless locations to choose from. Walking in nature is uplifting in and of itself, but catching up with friends during that time makes it a perfect two hours.

A short time ago, we decided to meet close to the area where I lived during my childhood. From the time I was 10 years old, my mother and 3 siblings lived in a farmhouse on the outskirts of McGregor, Ontario.

My friends and I started walking south along the trail, where trains used to barrel by, a couple of acres behind the farmhouse. Almost immediately, I started pointing and sharing memories: “That was the corn field we loved to play hide and seek in; There’s the remnants of the barn where we used to laugh hysterically as we jumped into the hay loft; The field where the horses roamed; Where my sister screamed as she fell and broke her collar bone…”

My mother used to say she had to “steal from Peter to pay Paul” to save for rent and make ends meet every month. We couldn’t afford to heat the upstairs in the winter and closed off that area of the house. We ran a water line from the well once a week to fill the reservoir in the basement. We were happy because that’s all that mattered to my mom. Family - there is nothing more important. She instilled that in each of us and her legacy lives on.

Smiling, I had a vision of myself as a 10 year old, running through the corn fields and stopping suddenly. The young, “me” glanced over to see her 56 year old self walking by. Time Warp! What had she imagined her life would be like 46 years later? What was that young girl thinking of in those times? Her dreams? Her fears? My dreams and fears as I struggled to figure out my life’s path.

If you could go back in time would you change anything? It serves no purpose to dwell on what could have or should have happened. But, are we achieving our goals? Have we overcome obstacles by challenging and confronting our fears? What’s stopping us from finding our “why” and true purpose in this life? Reflecting and learning from the choices we made along the way can guide us now and in our futures. Perhaps in the coming weeks, as many of us self-isolate due to the COVID-19, we can take this time as an opportunity to refocus, reconnect and make positive choices for ourselves and those we love.

If I asked, "What is your number one priority in life, at this very moment in time?" what would be your answer?

I posted this question on my Twitter page and was not surprised by the number one response - 53% stated it was "my family".  I would have answered exactly the same way a few years ago, but not any longer.

Pardon? I don't value my family as my number one priority? I wish it were that easy. When I was diagnosed with a brain tumour, do you think I could say that my family was #1? Of course, I could if I were living in a fantasy world.  The tables had turned. Whether I wanted to be there for them or not, it really wasn't a choice. My health immediately became OUR priority. I was blessed to have a family that wrapped around me and supported what I needed, every minute of every day. As we coped with the diagnosis, the medications, the medical opinions, craniotomy and...and... and...  It went on and on. I could not drive, cook, cheer on my children during their sports events, meet a teacher, was easily confused when they spoke to me, lacked short and long- term memory. How in the world did they do it? My husband and three teenage children jumped into the roles of protectors, schedulers and chauffeurs. Bottom line - my health became THE priority for every single one of us.

Should that priority have changed as I recovered and stepped back into the role of mother and wife? Maybe, but it hasn't. Without my health, I know I cannot be there for my family as I would want to be. I've seen the other side of the fence all too clearly. I will do anything within my power to never be thrown over it again, separated from those I cherish the most in my life.

It has become "normal" in this crazy society to leave the house first thing in the morning and juggle countless things every day. Why can't we take 1/2 hour to ourselves?  1/2 hour to sit on a bench and enjoy the view and sounds of nature and those around us?  1/2 to close the door and enjoy time reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a comedy show? 1/2 hour to take a long bath listening to the music we love? 1/2 hour to regroup or take a walk! We deserve nothing less. Run, run, run. Really?

My health is my priority so I can be here for my family in every way possible, as long as possible. People talk about "balance" in their lives? What does that even mean? The definition is different for everyone. From my perspective, balance comes with time every day to focus on health - whether that is physical, emotional or spiritual. It shouldn't be considered selfish, but expected.

Six years ago, my answer to the question would have been, "My family".  Not anymore. My family is my world but I can no longer take my health for granted. I'll be here to meet, hold and love my grand babies - If I have anything to say about it!

"The present time has one advantage of every other - it is our own." (Charles Caleb Colton)