How Are You Today?

How do we respond, if we are in fact, nearing the ledge?

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Published in the Kingsville Neighbourhood Magazine, June 2021

When is the last time you openly discussed your own mental health and wellness with friends or family members? As a parent, can we speak honestly about our fears when one of our own children is struggling? Can we comfortably talk about it ourselves if we are the ones in crisis?

“I’m fine thanks,” or “Couldn’t be better” are typical answers to the age-old question. But how do we respond if we are in fact, nearing the ledge? We don’t want to burden our family and friends after all. They have enough going on in their own lives, don’t they? Perhaps we are embarrassed and don’t want anyone else to know. Maybe we’re worried we’ll be judged by others or we aren’t aware of the wealth of resources at our fingertips, many of which are outside of traditional counselling and therapy.

When our day-to-day life is negatively impacted because of how we are feeling, those around us are most definitely affected, as much as we may not want to admit it. Can we recognize the signs of those who are struggling, including caregivers?

My most recent book “Jackson” was written after speaking with many people, both those in caregiver roles and struggling themselves. Although fictional, it is a compilation of the real-life experiences of a mother and son as they fight their demons and desperation with love and hope. Generating honest, open, and real conversations, “Jackson” is helping us become comfortable talking about this subject which has been “taboo” for far too long. 

Suicide is the second-largest cause of death for our youth between 15 – 24 years of age in Canada. There is a growing movement recommending that we as parents have “The Talk” with our teenagers which includes a purely preventative, science-based, 4-step script. Jackie Simmons (Co-Founder of the Teen Suicide Prevention Society) believes that having “The Talk” just might save our child’s life. Her TEDx speech is empowering.

In a series of surveys conducted by the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (Canada's largest mental health and addiction teaching hospital and a world-leading research centre in this field), one year into the pandemic, “About one in five Canadians reported high levels of mental distress”. If we are not experiencing this ourselves directly, someone we care for likely is or will be.

Why not pick up the phone or visit someone you haven’t checked in with for a while? Start the conversation that may be so desperately needed, for yourself or that individual. It just may be the spark that helps you or someone else take the first step towards a hopeful future.

References

The Centre for Addictions and Mental Health

https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-health-and-covid-19/covid-19-national-survey

Lynn’s website with mental health resource links

https://lynnmclaughlin.com/jackson

Have “The Talk” to Stop Teen Suicide TEDx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzmmBXgXb70

"Jackson" Rises to #1 on Kindle in Canada. What is Happening Behind the Scenes to Make This Possible?

It was almost one year ago when I began working with FriesenPress by receiving an Editor’s Manuscript Evaluation. After several conversations with my representative for many reasons, I chose this publishing option, but specifically because of its worldwide distribution network.

We select our launch path based on choices and what we need as an author. Jackson had two rounds of formal content editing, custom interior layout with revision rounds, and premium book cover design, all with experts in their field. After three cycles back and forth, the cover became an outstanding portrayal of the main character, better than I envisioned it ever would. The bottom line has to be quality. As an author, you are driven to offer the best possible content and overall “package” to your readers.

I’ve been working with writers who have chosen different paths to publish. There are many options today. Each one has its pros and cons. Regardless of which way you go, marketing and promotion are going to fall on your lap. You have the option of hiring a publicist should you wish. I chose to take it on myself and shared our “Time to Publish” plan on my YouTube channel for 9 weeks before our launch party. Step by step, with the help of the remarkable people on the launch team and hours of dedication, we made it happen. Trust me, we had our surprises, especially when I discovered that Jackson could to not be made available for pre-release sales. One step back, two steps forward, as they say.

Every author wants their books to become bestsellers. It means countless people worldwide are reading your work, and you hope your writing is having an impact. If Jackson drives conversations about mental illness within families and between friends, my goal will come to fruition. We need each other now more than ever before.

Jackson did not become a best seller because of its content. I would love to believe it did but would be naïve in doing so. It resulted from strategic, step-by-step actions taken over months and many people's involvement along the way.

Thank you Colleen Gascoigne, Melissa Lyons, Jenn Sadai, Chelsea Stephens and Gianna Romano. This launch team certainly found ways to think outside of the box and develop a plan that could work in the midst of a pandemic. To my family and friends, I am blessed to have you in my life and never take that for granted. Finally, to each of you who are reading this, much appreciation for your support. To Yvonne Marrs, the character of Jackson could not have been possible without your insights and personal experiences. Your honesty, vulnerabilty and willingness to share what it is like to struggle with anxiety made this book possible.

Now comes the time that authors look forward to - the responses and reviews of readers. There are scenes in Jackson where you will agree or disagree with the decisions made or action taken. That’s the point. We each have our own experiences to draw upon. Let’s engage in that conversation without hesitation or fear of what others might think. Let’s listen, seek to understand, and knock down the stigma of this disease.

We must change the way we see and treat this mental health crisis in our world.

Mental illness has become a crisis in Canada and around the world. 13% of us are currently struggling with some type of mental illness. The impact on the lives of those affected is overwhelming. After almost a year of research, interviews and consultations with many who have been personally affected, Jackson is now being released. Fellow author, Yvonne Marrs shared personal and powerful insights with vulnerability and honesty to help form the character of Jackson.

A powerful new book based on true stories, Jackson’s battle to take control over his own mind and life portrays what millions of people are fighting with around the world – mental illness. His mother, desperate to free him from his demons and desperation, faces her own turmoil and anguish, doing anything possible to save her son, through love and hope. How many emotional, heartbreaking and even triumphant moments will they face? How do they move on after each? How do June and Jackson move from denial to a place of acceptance and understanding?

As written in the book’s introduction by Alan Goyette (MSW, RSW Clinical Social Worker), “For those of you who have lived this experience, that face will be all too familiar. For those of you who have not, that face will aid you in developing a greater understanding of and compassion for those who demand your support.”

Co-hosted by authors Jenn Sadai and Melissa Lyons, join us for 45 minutes at the virtual book launch party for Jackson using the Zoom platform on Wednesday, October 21st beginning at 7 pm EST.

Enjoy the book trailer created by Francis Yap of Mission Informatics and please register using the link on the top right corner of the page. Let’s continue to take action and change the conversation about how we see and treat mental illness.

Pick up the phone. Drop by for a visit. It could be the moment you save someone's life.

The facts are staggering. The Canadian Mental Health Association states that…in any given year, one in five people in Canada will personally experience a mental health problem or illness. By age forty, about fifty percent of the population will have or have had a mental illness.

Almost one half (forty-nine percent) of those who feel they have suffered from depression or anxiety have never gone to see a doctor about this problem and only one in five children with mental-health problems receive mental health services.

Some of our barriers seem almost insurmountable: People who don’t accept they need help, believing they can deal with it on their own; those who know they are not well but won’t get support because of the perceived stigma attached; people who desperately want assistance but are put on wait lists; or those who reside in communities where services are slim.

The extreme pressures that this pandemic has placed on us drives the need for even more services than ever before. A bureaucratic system delivers and administers health-care services through provincial and territorial governments. We have primary, secondary, and supplementary services that are often fragmented and certainly not a “wrap around” model. It’s so complex that private organizations are offering “health-care advocates” to help us navigate the system.

The impact on the lives of those affected cannot be overstated. Through countless experiences as an educator, a friend, family member and parent, I’m sharing the story of “Jackson” (to be released in October of this year).

Jackson’s battle to take control over his own mind and life portrays what millions of people are fighting with around the world – mental illness. His mother, desperate to free him from his demons and desperation, faces her own turmoil and anguish, doing anything possible to save her son, through love and hope. After countless emotional, heartbreaking and triumphant moments, June and her son must both accept that only Jackson can save himself. Though Jackson leaves us with hope and a promise of a healthy future after years of suffering, the reality is that not every young person has that outcome. Suicide accounts for twenty-four percent of all deaths among fifteen to twenty-four-year-olds in Canada (four times more likely for men). Twenty-four percent!

June and Craig’s characters are of typical parents who desperately find their way through each crisis with their son, questioning themselves and carrying regrets. No one is prepared for what is thrown at them when their child can’t find their way out of bed or doesn’t believe there is a reason for being. But families need not struggle alone.

We have been far too slow to change in response to this growing crisis. But there is a movement that is gaining traction. There is no “one” magic bullet. But without taking the first step, the person suffering will never know what intervention could make the difference.

What can we do as individuals? Plenty! I hope that this book empowers each of us to act in support of ourselves, a loved one, or anyone showing the symptoms of mental illness.

We are much more aware than we have ever been in the past. Knowledge is power. We can’t walk away, avoid contacting someone because we don’t know what to say. Be there. Pick up the phone, drop in for a visit. It could be the moment you save someone’s life.

Our Hidden champions

Behind the Scenes…

Behind the scenes in every community, many people volunteer. They are giving, generous, connected to their communities and help others lead happier and healthier lives. They don’t want recognition, hide from the media and blush when someone thanks them publicly.

Linda Lynch and Lynne LaFontaine are two of our hidden community champions! In partnership, this dynamic duo coordinates the complex operations of the community food bank. These women ensure there is enough food on the shelves, schedule volunteers to open the doors of the food bank three days per week, accept donations, send thank you cards and receipts, contact clients, collect documentation and so much more. Following the Ontario order to stay at home in March, Lynne needed to take a hiatus, a choice well respected by all who know her. Linda began volunteering at the food bank 13 years ago after retiring from her teaching career. Her years of experience gave her the tools to step in and manage all operations during Lynne’s absence. Linda is very grateful that her partner has now returned to the team.

Lynne and Linda are advocates and dedicated volunteers who give of their time, knowledge and good will many days a week. Life and financial circumstances for countless people have changed due to the pandemic, with many businesses closing and the economy literally shutting down. Linda’s passion has ensured that, even with unprecedented challenges that began in March, the necessary changes have been made to keep the freezers, fridges and shelves stocked.

How is it possible to do this safely in the midst of a pandemic? This crew of remarkable people are in change mode weekly. Clients need no longer enter the building at 18 Division Street North. Food is prepackaged in boxes and bags, ready for delivery or pickup to ensure everyone stays safe with social distancing as a priority. As people arrive, food and necessities are placed into the vehicle or cart for them. You see, there is another group of volunteers donating their time, working behind the scenes as well: they accept donations, check expiration dates, package products, stock shelves, pack boxes and shop. Thanks to Rob, Jim, Guy, Andy, Matt, Marie, Mary, Sharon. Carol and the volunteers from the Kinsgsville Southshore Rotary Club, the food bank is operating safely and meeting the needs of our community.

All volunteers are in awe of the generosity of residents. At the end of each month, a list of what is needed is posted in the window. People drop off supplies at the front door or make monetary donations. A thoughtful family recently made creative gift bags for children. Local farmers and greenhouses continue to be very charitable with the contribution of fruits and vegetables including Mastronardi Produce, Nichols Orchard, Top Line Greenhouse, Allegra Acres and Five Star Farms. Green Heart graciously donates single person meals regularly. We are grateful.

The Kingsville Food Bank is not part of the larger cooperative and operates as an independent organization. It opened in 1996 in what we now refer to as the old fire hall under the leadership of Annie Metcalfe, followed by Marilyn Mayville-Allen and their teams. Needs in the community continued to grow and the food back location was changed two additional times. A series of circumstances resulted in Linda stepping in as a Coordinator for a short time three years ago. Lynne and Linda now report to a nine member Board of Directors and the food bank is funded solely through donations.

None of this would be possible without Lynne and LInda’s leadership. Their kind, caring, committed nature drives them to make every decision based on what is best for families. They are welcoming, know everyone by name and are tireless in making any change necessary to ensure the food bank will remain open every Tuesday and Thursday (9:00 am - 12:45 pm). Hours were extended to include Wednesday evenings (5 - 7 pm) several months ago through a partnership with the Kingsville Southshore Rotary Club and their active group of volunteers. Anyone who is in need is encouraged to contact the food bank at (519) 733-8591.

Thank you Lynne and Linda, our hidden champions. Who would you like to recognize and celebrate from your community?