Before Everyone Runs Out the Door… One question. One connection.
Years ago, someone shared a simple family tradition with me that I’ve never forgotten.
Every morning, before everyone heads out the door, each person answers one question:
“What is one thing you’re looking forward to today?”
Everyone answers.
Not just the kids.
The adults too.
Maybe it’s something at school. Maybe it’s seeing a friend. Maybe it’s a meeting. Maybe it’s recess.
Then everyone heads out the door.
But the conversation doesn’t end there.
At dinner, they ask the follow-up:
“How did that thing you were looking forward to go?”
Maybe it went wonderfully. Maybe it didn’t happen. Maybe it was a complete disaster.
And that’s okay.
Everything is on the table.
I love this simple tradition because it isn’t really about the question.
It’s about what the question creates. It creates a reason to talk.
It tells children:
What happens in your day matters to me.
Years ago, someone shared a simple family tradition with me that I’ve never forgotten.
Every morning, before everyone heads out the door, each person answers one question:
“What is one thing you’re looking forward to today?”
Everyone answers.
Not just the kids.
The adults too.
Maybe it’s something at school. Maybe it’s seeing a friend. Maybe it’s a meeting. Maybe it’s recess.
Then everyone heads out the door.
But the conversation doesn’t end there.
At dinner, they ask the follow-up:
“How did that thing you were looking forward to go?”
Maybe it went wonderfully. Maybe it didn’t happen. Maybe it was a complete disaster.
And that’s okay.
Everything is on the table.
I love this simple tradition because it isn’t really about the question.
It’s about what the question creates. It creates a reason to talk.
It tells children:
What happens in your day matters to me.
Research on parent-child conversations about setbacks gives us a reason to think about this. In a study of 231 mother-child pairs, researchers found that when mothers acknowledged their children’s emotions and discussed ways to work collaboratively on future problems, this was associated with less fear of making mistakes in children. [1]
But there is another piece of this that I think is especially important.
Children are watching us.
If we expect children to be able to say:
“That didn’t go the way I hoped.”
“I made a mistake.”
“I’m disappointed.”
“I don’t know what to do next.”
Then perhaps they need to see that we can say those things too.
Not because children need to carry our adult problems. They don’t. But because they need to know that being human isn’t the same thing as being perfect.
Research on parental emotion socialization has found that the ways parents respond to, discuss, and express emotions are connected with children’s emotional and social development. [2]
Additional research by Haimovitz and Dweck found that parents’ views of failure were related to their children’s developing beliefs about learning and intelligence. In other words, children notice how we think and talk about failure. [3]
That matters.
Because I don’t want children to grow up believing that success means never getting it wrong.
Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes we don’t know. Sometimes we have to try again. And sometimes the thing we were looking forward to doesn’t turn out the way we imagined.
That’s life.
Our job isn’t to remove every disappointment. It’s to help children know that they can move through it.
And perhaps that’s what I love most about this family’s morning question. It starts before anything has gone wrong and creates connection when things are good.
And then, when the day doesn’t go according to plan, there is already a pathway back to the conversation.
“Tell me about it.”
No fixing. No judgment. No pretending. Just a family making room for the good, the hard, the unexpected, and everything in between.
So, as families head out the door for a new school year, perhaps try one simple question:
“What’s one thing you’re looking forward to today?” And then remember to ask about it later.
Because sometimes one small question can become a much bigger conversation.
A little research behind this idea
[1] Peterson, E. R., Sharma, T., Bird, A., Henderson, A. M. E., Ramgopal, V., Reese, E., & Morton, S. M. B. (2024). How mothers talk to their children about failure, mistakes and setbacks is related to their children’s fear of failure. British Journal of Educational Psychology, 95(1), 124–142. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjep.12685 (PubMed Central (PMC))
[2] Eisenberg, N., Cumberland, A., & Spinrad, T. L. (1998). Parental socialization of emotion. Psychological Inquiry, 9(4), 241–273. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI0904_1 (PubMed)
[3] Haimovitz, K., & Dweck, C. S. (2016). Parents’ views of failure predict children’s fixed and growth intelligence mind-sets. Psychological Science, 27(6), 859–869. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797616639727 (Association for Psychological Science)
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Why Student Well-Being Must Move from ‘Add-On’ to Core Practice in Schools
Introduction
Across classrooms worldwide, educators are asking: "How do we help children not just succeed academically, but thrive as human beings?"
The evidence is clear - student well-being is not a “nice-to-have,” add on to the curriculum, it’s essential. This research study is one of many I have posted on my website.
What the Research Shows
A systematic review and meta-analysis by Cipriano et al. (2023) analyzed dozens of school-based SEL programs. The findings are powerful:
💥 Universal programs boost student outcomes in social-emotional skills, behavior, and even academics.
💥 Benefits are long-lasting, when SEL is built into the culture of a school.
💥 Results are strongest when programs are delivered with fidelity - meaning staff are well-trained and supported.
What Needs to Be Done
This article was also published on LInkedIn, authored by Lynn McLaughlin.
Introduction
Across classrooms worldwide, educators are asking: "How do we help children not just succeed academically, but thrive as human beings?"
The evidence is clear - student well-being is not a “nice-to-have,” add on to the curriculum, it’s essential. This research study is one of many I have posted on my website.
What the Research Shows
A systematic review and meta-analysis by Cipriano et al. (2023) analyzed dozens of school-based SEL programs. The findings are powerful:
💥 Universal programs boost student outcomes in social-emotional skills, behavior, and even academics.
💥 Benefits are long-lasting, when SEL is built into the culture of a school.
💥 Results are strongest when programs are delivered with fidelity - meaning staff are well-trained and supported.
What Needs to Be Done
The researchers are clear about the steps forward:
Adopt evidence-based SEL universally - every student should have access, not just those already struggling.
Invest in teacher training and coaching - give educators tools, strategies, and ongoing support.
Measure outcomes and fidelity - track both student progress and how well programs are being delivered.
Embed SEL into school culture - policies, daily routines, staff meetings, and classroom practices.
SEL must move from being a weekly “add-on” lesson to the foundation of how schools operate.
Why This Matters
When children learn to regulate emotions, problem-solve, and build relationships, everything else improves. The shift is about cultivating a whole-school culture of well-being.
💥 Classrooms are calmer.
💥 Teachers can focus more on learning.
💥 Students gain the resilience and empathy they need for life beyond school.
This isn’t just about education - it’s about preparing the next generation to navigate challenges with strength and compassion.
Conclusion
In my own work, I’ve seen how proactive schools that make well-being the priority transform classrooms and children.
The research confirms what many of us know: well-being is the foundation for learning. We have decades of evidence through peer reviewed, published research studies to supportmy quest to have it embedded in every curriculum.