“I’m sorry to tell you…”

It was July 13th, 2013, a day that will be forever ingrained in my memory. I was sent to the emergency department immediately following an MRI. Alone, l heard the terrifying words, “I’m sorry to tell you…you have a brain tumour”. A mother of three teenage children at the time, it almost ended my life. I am passionate about helping others not make the same mistakes I did during that year of my life. Crises come to us in many ways. How can we be empowered to survive and find our “new normal”?

It’s Brain Tumour Awareness Month in Canada. Let’s join together to raise awareness!

• This is a list of common symptoms which, alone or combined, can be caused by a brain tumour (malignant or non-malignant). If you, or someone you know is experiencing any of them, consult a doctor. I ignored them for too long!

  • Behavioural changes

  • Cognitive changes

  • Dizziness or unsteadiness

  • Double or blurred vision

  • Frequent headaches

  • Hearing impairment

  • Morning nausea and vomiting

  • Seizures

  • Weakness or paralysis

• Free resources can be ordered by mail from the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada and supports are available for both patients and caregivers. Youtube also has webinars on a host of topics. There are over 120 different types of brain tumours, making treatment complex.

• Although as many as 60% of children with brain tumours will survive, they are often left with long term side effects.

• In May 2019 the Brain Tumour Registry of Canada was launched with the goal of collecting data on every malignant and non-malignant brain tumour in Canada. The first Canadian Survival Report is now available with excellent information which will drive research. The Foundation is committed to research that is changing treatment options and improving the quality of life for patients.

• Every day 27 Canadians hear the same shocking words I did almost 7 years ago. On Saturday, June 27th Canadians from coast to coast will join together for our virtual community walks. My team, “The Tumour Raiders” is only one of hundreds across Canada.

  “Turn May Grey ” has interesting meaning this year with hair salons closed. Many of us certainly are, in a way we never predicted! There are many ways to support: join or sponsor a team or individual for the walk in June, make a donation, share this information to raise awareness or cheer us on!

My Gift to You - WHO WOULD HAVE IMAGINED?

Six weeks ago, who were you spending time with? What were you doing?

Two of our children were finishing mid-terms in pursuit of their degrees. Our oldest was in the midst of his research, studying for his PHD. Ken and I were ripping out our old kitchen and replacing all the “pieces” step by step.

I was excited to have been a guest speaker at three events at the end of February and beginning of March and looking forward to those booked for the future. My college students had all begun their field placements with success. My podcast series was off and running and second book entering the cover design stage. My husband, a retired police officer, was working part time as a FEDEx driver.

FULL STOP.

We were hearing reports of a virus overseas. We’ve had them before. Wasn’t that too far away to really worry about in Essex County? The Covid-19 journal I began a month ago attests to how quickly things changed… daily if not hourly. Unprecedented, to say the least.

If you’re out of the country, come home.

Your travel insurance will be suspended in 10 days.

The border is closed. Vultures are cleaning out the grocery stores.

Local shops, small business owners are shut down with two days notice.

Schools and childcare centres are closing.

Only essential services remain open.

HOLD ON!

Retired medical practitioners and first responders are being hired back to work. Health care workers are on the front line. We’re searching for masks, face shields, medical gowns and ventilators. Field hospitals are being created. Businesses are re-tooling to make what we desperately need to survive. An entire generation in Italy and Spain have now been taken by this thing. It’s coming our way. One. Ten. Fifty. Almost three hundred…confirmed cases in our county and continuing to grow. People are ill, fighting for their lives. Long term care and retirement homes are locked down. Over one million people in Canada are now without employment.

Today, we say, “We have to flatten the curve.”

Today, nurses, doctors and first responders are staying in hotels or living in trailers to keep their families safe.

Today, we’re checking in on family and friends through online video chats.

Today, elementary, secondary, college and university students and teachers have moved to online learning, including myself and my children.

Today, we line up and wait six feet away from each other to enter a pharmacy or grocery store.

Today, we suffer heartache and can’t visit those in hospitals or palliative care…can’t come together to grieve the loss of a friend or loved one.

This is more than real. It’s incomprehensible. The coming weeks and months will be like nothing we have known before. People we know and love will fall ill. Businesses will close their doors permanently. People will have no job to go back to. Reality is about to smack each of us in the face, if it hasn’t already.

The world is giving us time to re-set in countless ways. Environmentally, we’ve had a drop in global emissions, waterways are running clear, air pollution has dropped substantially in major cities around the world. We have direct evidence of the positive impact we’ve have as human beings on our planet, because we’ve been forced to. We can’t ignore this and go back to the way things were. We have a responsibility to learn and re-envision a new normal with the power to create what that new normal will be - for ourselves, our communities and this world. This time can also be seen as a gift for those of us blessed to be staying home. Time to self-reflect, heal, read, be with our families...Time to find ourselves and what really brings us happiness and fulfillment...Time to take a stance and decide that we’re not going back to the treadmill of “stuff”. We’ll move forward with a new sense of purpose and realization of what really matters. Let’s not settle for anything less.

Today, I’m making masks as my “gift” to people. Who would have ever imagined?

What's it all About?

Last week, my husband and I were on a highway in Maine, after a long road trip relocating our son to the east coast. We were heading for a two-day vacation in Boston. It was raining very hard and I was getting quite nervous, to the point of repeatedly asking my husband to slow down. He was in total control, an excellent driver, yet I was imposing my discomfort on him. I realized that it was me causing the stress between us in the truck, not to mention distracting him. I consciously decided to take my eyes off the road, trust him to do what he was doing so well, and focus on a Sudoku Puzzle. Talk about a difference! Being aware of what we bring into a situation can give us the power to change our mindset and the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  Try it!

So what is it all about? How many times have we asked ourselves this question in our quest to understand our purpose in this life? My guess is much more frequently than we realize, but we don't dig deep enough because the answers are not staring us in the face. They're hard to find, even more difficult to understand sometimes. When tragedy strikes, what do we do with that? How do we grapple with the next question, "Why"? Our answers are moving targets, or so I have discovered. What I knew to be my self ten years ago is very different than the person I am today. Experiences teach us, or should, to consider things from a different perspective. Otherwise, will we grow and evolve to become the best person we can be? If we are stuck in our mindset from 10 years ago, is that healthy? Maybe it is for some who feel they have accomplished their goals and given all they have to offer. From my point of view, it's not that easy.

My illness 6 years ago was quite frankly, the kick in the teeth I needed. I was giving to others, committed to my roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter and sibling. BUT so caught up in the whirlwind of "Gotta do it now".  That mindset almost cost me my life. I ignored symptoms. Other things were too important - the meetings, the phone calls, errands, cheering on my teenage children, planning schedules... you name it. Were some of those things important? Absolutely, but they should never have taken priority over my health. Even now, retired for almost one year (September 1st), and working part time, I have to take steps back and ask, "Is this really what I need to be doing right now?". Is this going to make a difference to anyone? Can my time be better spent giving, learning and growing as a person? We need to turn ourselves off, actually take time to reflect and consciously make decisions to not only lower our stress levels, but truly bring happiness to ourselves and others.

All the best of health and happiness to you and yours,

If I asked, "What is your number one priority in life, at this very moment in time?" what would be your answer?

I posted this question on my Twitter page and was not surprised by the number one response - 53% stated it was "my family".  I would have answered exactly the same way a few years ago, but not any longer.

Pardon? I don't value my family as my number one priority? I wish it were that easy. When I was diagnosed with a brain tumour, do you think I could say that my family was #1? Of course, I could if I were living in a fantasy world.  The tables had turned. Whether I wanted to be there for them or not, it really wasn't a choice. My health immediately became OUR priority. I was blessed to have a family that wrapped around me and supported what I needed, every minute of every day. As we coped with the diagnosis, the medications, the medical opinions, craniotomy and...and... and...  It went on and on. I could not drive, cook, cheer on my children during their sports events, meet a teacher, was easily confused when they spoke to me, lacked short and long- term memory. How in the world did they do it? My husband and three teenage children jumped into the roles of protectors, schedulers and chauffeurs. Bottom line - my health became THE priority for every single one of us.

Should that priority have changed as I recovered and stepped back into the role of mother and wife? Maybe, but it hasn't. Without my health, I know I cannot be there for my family as I would want to be. I've seen the other side of the fence all too clearly. I will do anything within my power to never be thrown over it again, separated from those I cherish the most in my life.

It has become "normal" in this crazy society to leave the house first thing in the morning and juggle countless things every day. Why can't we take 1/2 hour to ourselves?  1/2 hour to sit on a bench and enjoy the view and sounds of nature and those around us?  1/2 to close the door and enjoy time reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a comedy show? 1/2 hour to take a long bath listening to the music we love? 1/2 hour to regroup or take a walk! We deserve nothing less. Run, run, run. Really?

My health is my priority so I can be here for my family in every way possible, as long as possible. People talk about "balance" in their lives? What does that even mean? The definition is different for everyone. From my perspective, balance comes with time every day to focus on health - whether that is physical, emotional or spiritual. It shouldn't be considered selfish, but expected.

Six years ago, my answer to the question would have been, "My family".  Not anymore. My family is my world but I can no longer take my health for granted. I'll be here to meet, hold and love my grand babies - If I have anything to say about it!

"The present time has one advantage of every other - it is our own." (Charles Caleb Colton)