If you could go back in time…

Once a month, I get together with two long time friends for a walk along the trails somewhere in our county. The Chrysler Greenway runs for 42 kms along the length of the old railway lines, giving us countless locations to choose from. Walking in nature is uplifting in and of itself, but catching up with friends during that time makes it a perfect two hours.

A short time ago, we decided to meet close to the area where I lived during my childhood. From the time I was 10 years old, my mother and 3 siblings lived in a farmhouse on the outskirts of McGregor, Ontario.

My friends and I started walking south along the trail, where trains used to barrel by, a couple of acres behind the farmhouse. Almost immediately, I started pointing and sharing memories: “That was the corn field we loved to play hide and seek in; There’s the remnants of the barn where we used to laugh hysterically as we jumped into the hay loft; The field where the horses roamed; Where my sister screamed as she fell and broke her collar bone…”

My mother used to say she had to “steal from Peter to pay Paul” to save for rent and make ends meet every month. We couldn’t afford to heat the upstairs in the winter and closed off that area of the house. We ran a water line from the well once a week to fill the reservoir in the basement. We were happy because that’s all that mattered to my mom. Family - there is nothing more important. She instilled that in each of us and her legacy lives on.

Smiling, I had a vision of myself as a 10 year old, running through the corn fields and stopping suddenly. The young, “me” glanced over to see her 56 year old self walking by. Time Warp! What had she imagined her life would be like 46 years later? What was that young girl thinking of in those times? Her dreams? Her fears? My dreams and fears as I struggled to figure out my life’s path.

If you could go back in time would you change anything? It serves no purpose to dwell on what could have or should have happened. But, are we achieving our goals? Have we overcome obstacles by challenging and confronting our fears? What’s stopping us from finding our “why” and true purpose in this life? Reflecting and learning from the choices we made along the way can guide us now and in our futures. Perhaps in the coming weeks, as many of us self-isolate due to the COVID-19, we can take this time as an opportunity to refocus, reconnect and make positive choices for ourselves and those we love.

What's it all About?

Last week, my husband and I were on a highway in Maine, after a long road trip relocating our son to the east coast. We were heading for a two-day vacation in Boston. It was raining very hard and I was getting quite nervous, to the point of repeatedly asking my husband to slow down. He was in total control, an excellent driver, yet I was imposing my discomfort on him. I realized that it was me causing the stress between us in the truck, not to mention distracting him. I consciously decided to take my eyes off the road, trust him to do what he was doing so well, and focus on a Sudoku Puzzle. Talk about a difference! Being aware of what we bring into a situation can give us the power to change our mindset and the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  Try it!

So what is it all about? How many times have we asked ourselves this question in our quest to understand our purpose in this life? My guess is much more frequently than we realize, but we don't dig deep enough because the answers are not staring us in the face. They're hard to find, even more difficult to understand sometimes. When tragedy strikes, what do we do with that? How do we grapple with the next question, "Why"? Our answers are moving targets, or so I have discovered. What I knew to be my self ten years ago is very different than the person I am today. Experiences teach us, or should, to consider things from a different perspective. Otherwise, will we grow and evolve to become the best person we can be? If we are stuck in our mindset from 10 years ago, is that healthy? Maybe it is for some who feel they have accomplished their goals and given all they have to offer. From my point of view, it's not that easy.

My illness 6 years ago was quite frankly, the kick in the teeth I needed. I was giving to others, committed to my roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter and sibling. BUT so caught up in the whirlwind of "Gotta do it now".  That mindset almost cost me my life. I ignored symptoms. Other things were too important - the meetings, the phone calls, errands, cheering on my teenage children, planning schedules... you name it. Were some of those things important? Absolutely, but they should never have taken priority over my health. Even now, retired for almost one year (September 1st), and working part time, I have to take steps back and ask, "Is this really what I need to be doing right now?". Is this going to make a difference to anyone? Can my time be better spent giving, learning and growing as a person? We need to turn ourselves off, actually take time to reflect and consciously make decisions to not only lower our stress levels, but truly bring happiness to ourselves and others.

All the best of health and happiness to you and yours,

Writers of the World: International Women's Day Discussion Panel

Gender Equality, Women's Empowerment and the Writing Process

Rebecca Rodarte, Debra Falasco, Lynn McLaughlin and Christine Ristaino discuss gender equality, women's empowerment and the writing process.

SOURCE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNjMZBmyfBo