What's it all About?

Last week, my husband and I were on a highway in Maine, after a long road trip relocating our son to the east coast. We were heading for a two-day vacation in Boston. It was raining very hard and I was getting quite nervous, to the point of repeatedly asking my husband to slow down. He was in total control, an excellent driver, yet I was imposing my discomfort on him. I realized that it was me causing the stress between us in the truck, not to mention distracting him. I consciously decided to take my eyes off the road, trust him to do what he was doing so well, and focus on a Sudoku Puzzle. Talk about a difference! Being aware of what we bring into a situation can give us the power to change our mindset and the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  Try it!

So what is it all about? How many times have we asked ourselves this question in our quest to understand our purpose in this life? My guess is much more frequently than we realize, but we don't dig deep enough because the answers are not staring us in the face. They're hard to find, even more difficult to understand sometimes. When tragedy strikes, what do we do with that? How do we grapple with the next question, "Why"? Our answers are moving targets, or so I have discovered. What I knew to be my self ten years ago is very different than the person I am today. Experiences teach us, or should, to consider things from a different perspective. Otherwise, will we grow and evolve to become the best person we can be? If we are stuck in our mindset from 10 years ago, is that healthy? Maybe it is for some who feel they have accomplished their goals and given all they have to offer. From my point of view, it's not that easy.

My illness 6 years ago was quite frankly, the kick in the teeth I needed. I was giving to others, committed to my roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter and sibling. BUT so caught up in the whirlwind of "Gotta do it now".  That mindset almost cost me my life. I ignored symptoms. Other things were too important - the meetings, the phone calls, errands, cheering on my teenage children, planning schedules... you name it. Were some of those things important? Absolutely, but they should never have taken priority over my health. Even now, retired for almost one year (September 1st), and working part time, I have to take steps back and ask, "Is this really what I need to be doing right now?". Is this going to make a difference to anyone? Can my time be better spent giving, learning and growing as a person? We need to turn ourselves off, actually take time to reflect and consciously make decisions to not only lower our stress levels, but truly bring happiness to ourselves and others.

All the best of health and happiness to you and yours,

Why? I asked myself this question repeatedly ...

"Why?"

Over the past week, I have consciously asked myself this question. Why did I wave off the man behind me who honked because I wasn't moving fast enough in the Tim Horton's drive-through?  Why was I upset when my husband asked a simple question? Why, when I was out walking and came across a woman picking up debris on the greenway, did I not ask her name and thank her?

Asking myself, "Why" is all well and good, but stopping and reflecting on something that could have or should have happened does not change a thing. Or does it? It won't change what happened in that moment, but could it alter our mindset and responses in the future? I think the power in reflection is that we CAN change what we do and how we respond to similar situations.

Perhaps next time someone honks at me because the line is moving too slowly, I smile at them rather than waving them off and purchase their beverage with a kind message. We can be proactive and send positive energy rather than perpetuate the negative. That's exactly what I did in that particular situation. It also bothered me, for quite some time. Did he think by honking I was going to move faster? What was his real intent? What caused him to act in such a way? What stressors was he feeling in that moment? Why did I feed into it?  I spent tons of energy kicking myself for what I did. Some may say that's ridiculous because it was no big deal. Perhaps though, that energy in the future, will be celebratory because I rose above it.