Children With Big Emotions? Teach Them This Strategy Free Download of "I Can Calm My Mind"

VoiceAmerica Blog Post

Children are struggling with their emotional well-being in this complex world. We’re passionate about teaching children proven tools and strategies that will help them build resilience, self-confidence, empathy, social and problem-solving skills. We’ve become accustomed to waiting for symptoms rather than being proactive before we begin to struggle with our own physical and emotional health. Imagine a world where children learn to embrace their emotions at a young age and grow up to be the best version of themselves possible.

Beam your child off to a fictional planet where childlike beings glow in the colour they are feeling. Every book takes readers into a conflict that children can relate to. Adults teach them how to recognize, understand and manage their emotions in a fun and positive way. And that’s not all – every character is named after a crystal and this series is the winner of “The Mom’s Choice Award.”

Free Download of an Ebook or PDF. Enjoy!

Download your free PDF or Ebook of “I Can Calm My Mind’ from “The Power of Thought” children’s book series. Additional resources are also available (free of charge) with the book, including an educational guide and think-tank page so kids can apply what they have learned to their own lives. Join us and ride the waves to calmer waters!

Why is it so important to teach children how to calm their minds and bodies? 40 years of research support this proactive approach.

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Lynn with the five books from The Power of Thought series at Storytellers Book Store in Windsor, Ontario.

Press Release: Feeling Stuck in Unhelpful Patterns? Are Your Kids Having Meltdowns or Withdrawing Completely?

This press release was orginally distributed by SBWire

Kingsville, ON -- (SBWIRE) -- 06/12/2023 -- Host Lynn McLaughlin is joined by Margaret Boersma who points out that conflict is a natural part of family life, but finding peaceful resolutions is more than possible. Don't let anything stop you from supporting your children to thrive! We break down emotional barriers and learn practical techniques, games and activities that teach empathy, promote self-awareness and open the doors to building strong, healthy relationships. And that's not all - learn how to manage your own emotions, gain energy and time for your self-care.

"You are the most influential role model for your children. Imagine having acquired the grounding and skills to be graceful and calm in any situation," says Margaret Boersma.

https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/145374/unstuck-and-thriving-unlocking-emotional-growth

If you have any questions about the show or would like to advertise your products or services, please contact Dee Daniels, Senior Executive Producer at dee.daniels@voiceamerica.com.

About Margaret Boersma
Margaret Boersma is an expert in social and emotional intelligence with over 35 years of experience in education. As an educational consultant, trainer, and speaker, she helps families assimilate communication and leadership skills into their lives. Margaret's mission is to bring emotional intelligence to schools, families, and workplaces to enable them to flourish. She has co-authored a chapter in Brian Tracy's book, Emerge, and is currently working on her own book, The Dynamic Teaching Model. Margaret has trained teachers in various countries worldwide.

Visit Margaret at https://creativeeducationinaction.com to learn more.

About Lynn Mclaughlin
Lynn McLaughlin has served in many roles as an educator … Superintendent, Principal, Vice-Principal, Teacher, and Educational Consultant in a board of over 35,000 students. Lynn's professional speaking experiences have been local, provincial, and international. She is passionate about children's emotional well-being and what we as adults must do to ensure our children have the skills, mindset, and strategies to be successful and happy in today's world.

As a best-selling and award-winning author, Lynn has now teamed up with her niece, Amber Raymond, to co-author a children's book series titled, "The Power of Thought." Both are passionate about being proactive when it comes to children's mental health.

Lynn has hosted the podcast, Taking the Helm for over three years and is proud to bring the voices of others forward to learn and with and from. Dedicated to community causes, Lynn is a member of 100 Women Who Care Windsor/Essex and is a Rotarian. As a brain tumour survivor, she works tirelessly to support the goals of the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada.

About Taking the Helm
Wednesdays 7 am PST on the Voice America Health and Wellness Channel

Our kids and youth are in crisis. Lynn's current mission is to empower children by helping them discover the essential steppingstones they need to strengthen their emotional well-being. When we cultivate confidence, empathy, responsibility, and self-awareness in children, we equip them with the skills to regulate their emotions in a positive way. Our children deserve to be emotionally healthy as they grow through youth into adulthood. Its in our hands as adults and need to learn and model these behaviors for our children and incorporate them into our own daily lives, imagine the synergy we can create! We have become accustomed to waiting for symptoms before we seek help, both emotionally and physically. It's time to change our way of thinking from reactive to proactive. Let's learn what we need to so kids growing up have skills and strategies to use for life, in this very challenging world.

About VoiceAmerica
VoiceAmerica is the original digital broadcast company for the production and delivery of Live Internet Talk Radio programming and continues to be the industry leader in digital media, marketing, and distribution. We are the pioneers of digital radio programming and have been since 1999. We create and distribute over 500 unique and innovative radio programs for our millions of engaged listeners worldwide. Our network channels distribute live programs daily that reach a growing domestic and international audience who connect through all devices via our mobile, desktop, and tablet VoiceAmerica destinations. Learn more at http://www.voiceamerica.com. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter. Call us any time to find out how VoiceAmerica can help you reach your audience, (480) 553-5756.

For more information on this press release visit: http://www.sbwire.com/press-releases/feeling-stuck-in-unhelpful-patterns-are-your-kids-having-meltdowns-or-withdrawing-completely-1374735.htm

Media Relations Contact

Dee Daniels
Senior Executive Producer
VoiceAmerica
Telephone: 1-480-553-5741
Email: Click to Email Dee Daniels
Web: https://www.voiceamerica.com/

TRANSCRIPT OF BENJAMIN YEH | THE POWER OF IMAGINATION VOICE AND INTUITION...ALIGN YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL!

Listen Link

[MUSIC INTRO 00:00:04]
Are you facing a crisis in your life or business? It's time to steer yourself in the right direction through the real experiences, passion and courage of our guests. We're taking the helm with your host, Lynn McLaughlin.

[00:00:20]
Hello and thanks again for joining us. We are most certainly going to take the helm today with our guest, Benjamin Yeh. Ben Yeh. Oh my gosh. He's blown my mind and I think he's going to blow yours too.

[00:00:31]
Benjamin left two careers after he saw a vision and he followed his vision, as difficult as it was from a left brain person to someone who's discovered his connection to the mind, body and soul. And now he's helping us do the same as an entrepreneur. Hi, Benjamin, thanks for taking the home with us today. It's such a pleasure to be here, Lynn, and I'm very grateful to share this time with you. I just want to share with people.

[00:00:59]
Just before Benjamin I hit record here, he asked me what my intention was for this podcast and 104 guests. I've never been asked that before. Benjamin shared his intention, I shared mine. And we are in sync. And I really love the way that we did that, Benjamin, because you're right, it kind of brought our energies together, didn't it?

[00:01:18]
It's interesting because it was one of the techniques I learned and we'll probably go into a little bit later, but back when I was an investment officer, the head of HR, I remember there was this really difficult conversation we're going to have with one of our partners and we brought in the head of HR to also have to be with us in this conversation. And he started a conversation in the very beginning to say, hey, I just want to declare my intention for today's call and my intention here is to create a win win, but to really be authentic with you in terms of what can we do to share what's happening, but what's the resolve and something about setting that intention. And he also even said anything I say, anything response that I have is going to be in line with that intention. I just want to be upfront with you on that. And when you do that, it just completely shifted and changed the energy.

[00:02:19]
In a conversation where knowing from a different conversation, it wasn't like from anger or from anything was because the intention anchored what the energy want to hold. And so ever since I learned that technique, it's like, wow. Especially the work that I do now, it's all about energy and it's all about how to raise that vibration. I just found it a beautiful way to like, hey, why don't we just do that in the beginning? Because it also, like I said, it harmonizes a bit on what the energy frequency is for any conversation, any meeting, any interview.

[00:02:49]
And I've been on the side of the table like you have as well. And wow. I can just see the tension in the room would just drop immediately because there's no dismissal, there's no termination, there's no breaking of the contract. We're here to find a solution. I absolutely love that.

[00:03:03]
So thank you for introducing me to that today. No worries. Benjamin, tell us about yourself. Thank you so much, Lynn. Oh, gosh.

[00:03:14]
Where I begin. So I am in my third chapter of my career. First started off with my first chapter as a real estate hospitality consultant. So essentially live out of a suitcase for about four Yehhars, right. Different time zones, depending on where the clients and the projects may take me.

[00:03:32]
And I remember it was the day before Christmas in 2008 where I was driving into work and I had this gut feeling where I'm going to be laid off today. I remember going in and sure enough, I got laid off, which was lovely, heading into the holidays with that.

[00:03:57]
And what's interesting is usually when one door closes, another one opens up if you're just being present, looking at the right way. Right. And sure enough, I had a really amazing opportunity that popped up to be an investment officer for a family office. And so family office is just a fancy term for investment team, usually for high net worth individuals or family that has come into wealth. Right.

[00:04:25]
And I happen to work for the principals that made their wealth and continue to grow their wealth in the restaurant business. And so that's when I embarked on my second chapter of my career as an investment officer, where basically all the money they generated in a restaurant group. We bought a lot of real estate because that was predominantly in my background, but also investing in companies, start ups, private equity venture, I mean, anything under the sun, you name it, I've probably seen. And in that capacity, we invested well over a billion in the span of seven years. Right.

[00:04:59]
And it was a lot of money, a lot of energy. And back then, if you hadn't met back then, when I was very much left brain, very much 100% logic based. And what was very interesting is I was very grateful to meet my wife there. So met my future soulmate and we got married. And halfway through in that second chapter, when I was on maternity leave, I was forced to turn off my BlackBerry because I had no incoming email coming in, so I was forced to unplug.

[00:05:34]
And usually when you're put in those situations, it gives you time to reflect, which normally sometimes you might not, right, depending on the pace of life that you're in. And I remember very vividly, it was the second week of my maternity leave, I was laying BENX, my wife, staring at the ceiling, and had this vision come in. Really odd because I was seeing a house with a front yard and two kids were running around. I was there with my wife and I, everyone seems very happy. And I knew this vision was a vision of the future because at the time, my wife and I were still living in an apartment, and we just had our first child.

[00:06:14]
But what was very conflicting and odd as I was watching this vision play out, was everyone was seeing very happy, but on the inside, I was feeling empty. Wait a minute. Why is what I'm feeling internally not matching with what I'm seeing in this vision? And it took time for me to sit with it, to really understand that. And my breakthrough was that, wow.

[00:06:41]
I think the path that I was on was really a path created by others, by society, by my parents. It wasn't a path that my soul wanted to be on. And when I came to that realization I'm getting into chills right now even saying this, but when I came to that realization, it's like, what do I do with that? You walk away from a career that's serving you so well financially. Right.

[00:07:09]
If my intention was to be an investment officer for a billionaire Ford 500 family, this is it. There's absolutely no better people to work for. And they were so loving, and it was such a great environment to nurture. But in my gut, I knew this is what my soul wanted to create, wanted to be on. And it wasn't until a few years later that I took that leap of faith, and I was like, okay, my kids are still young, or my child at the time just had one at the time, but was still young.

[00:07:41]
But I needed to take that leap of faith because I knew I wanted my life to be more meaningful than a number. A number just being IRR, internal rate of return. I wanted to be more impactful. And so after close to seven years that's when I decided to leave and start my third chapter as entrepreneur to really figure out what is it that my soul really wants to create. And in the third chapter of creating different businesses with different partners, what I came back to and this is my wife being more intuitive than I am, but also always being right, she shared that, you know, Ben, I see your soul always lit up when you're coaching people.

[00:08:23]
And she was right, because back as an investment officer, when you're investing into companies and you're betting on the CEO and management companies because you want them to succeed, right? Sure. We'll talk about KPIs. KPI stands for Key Performance Indicators. Right?

[00:08:40]
Scorecards. And from a logic sense, how to improve your business economics. But I always see more of myself as a holistic perspective because at the time I met my wife, that's when I started really embarking on my spiritual journey. My family is Buddhist, but I wasn't like a daily practitioner. But I got experience.

[00:09:02]
What's? A Reiki healing session. What's beta healing, right? And it opened a beautiful can of worms and it really opened up my eyes in the spiritual journey that I started to embark on. And the best way to describe what I do now when I coach and empower entrepreneurs and career professionals is how do I help them sort out what's really your true north?

[00:09:26]
What's the direction that your soul is yearning to go towards knowing that, then how do you build success in alignment with your mind, body and soul? And it's a convergence of my personal, my professional, my spiritual journey into really this one path. Because I really see things from a lot of different perspectives and dimensions. And how do I share that in a language for people to understand? Because looking at my 30 year old self, I was very left brain, I was very logic based.

[00:09:58]
And having those moments of feeling stuck, it's like, what do you do with that? There was no language out there for me to really comprehend, how to kind of sort it out internally. And that's what led to my coaching, to my Building Vision podcast and really kind of how I reached out to you because I love the name. Name has energy behind it. And taking the helm was like, oh my God, there's so much alignment with that when I share.

[00:10:21]
And here we are today. Okay, I want to unpack a couple of things because I've shared with people the last year, I've really been on a quest to be more intuitive, to be more in touch with my own spirituality, meeting people like you and oh my gosh, so many along the way. I'm about to do a retreat. It's so exciting. But how do we and this is why.

[00:10:43]
This is why you're doing what you're doing. You have to figure it out yourself. Then, as a left brain person, how do you watch for those signs? How do you follow? How do you know that, oh, I'm supposed to go this way, I'm supposed to go that way.

[00:10:57]
What do we do? Give me just one thing that we could do to tap into our intuitiveness in a better way and an easier way. Oh, man, that's a beautiful question. And we could probably go 2 hours deep into this. Not too big.

[00:11:11]
I know one little thing. Well, let me zoom out a little bit and show it in this context because everything is interconnected and it's good to at least understand what those bearings are. Let me explain it this way, Lynn. So what I share in my show is that there are three core pillars in building a strong mindset. And those three core pillars are imagination, voice and intuition.

[00:11:37]
So you're talking about intuition piece, but all three are really interconnected. So what I mean by imagination, voice, intuition, imagination is what we see mentally. The voice or the inner voice is what we hear mentally. Intuition is what we feel internally, what we see, what we hear, what we feel, completely creates your inner world. That then amplifies you out of reality.

[00:12:02]
So if you know how to strengthen what you see, what you hear, what you feel internally, then you're really strengthening your inner world that they can translate to what the world you want to create an outer reality. And you have to bring those three into alignment. Because sometimes what we see and what we hear in our mind is not what we feel we should be doing that's right. The easy way to break that down, if I go one level deeper is your imagination, for example, right? Are you imagining on an eight and a half by eleven piece of paper or are you imagining that the world is your canvas?

[00:12:42]
How expansive is your imagination? The voice or intervals, right? Are you your best cheerleader or are you your worst critic? How I define that further is I think Dr. Bruce Limpton has shared that 5% of our data is really operated by a conscious mind, but 95% of it is from my subconscious.

[00:13:06]
And the best way I describe it is in terms of subconscious. It's that autopilot programming, right? There's times where I'd be driving down the same path in the same road where I'd take my drop off my kids to school on the weekends. I impose of your right to go to the market or the farmer's market. But if I'm deep in thought I'm on autopilot, I'm going to veer left as if I'm dropping my kids off to school.

[00:13:30]
And then once I take the turn, I realize, oh my gosh, I was supposed to go, right? I was on autopilot. My kids will call me on my dad, are you on autopilot? That's my subconscious operating. And how it defines subconscious is SOS subconscious operating system.

[00:13:47]
We get the programming from earlier really on age from zero to seven in terms of what we absorb through our parents, through our environment. And those programming that I share with my audience but also my clients is have you spent time to have the awareness of the existing program you have? Is it serving you and where you want to go? Or do you need to upgrade or. Do you need to leave some of it as baggage?

[00:14:12]
Right? Some of them stick with us and you got to let that go too. So upgrade, ditch some things. Yeh that's exactly right. And to go even further of that baggage, I love how you brought that up.

[00:14:22]
Lynn, is that in business or even career? Everyone's thinking about if cars a metaphor of the vehicle of your business. Everyone wants to upgrade your car. Everyone wants to upgrade from a camera to a Ferrari, like today. Right.

[00:14:36]
I don't want to go faster or they always want bigger, faster, or whatever it may be. And what I explained is like, look, at the end of the day, it's never about the vehicle. It's always about the driver because you can upgrade your car today. But guess what? That 10,000 pound lime belief baggage that you have in your trunk that gets transferred over to your new car regardless of whether you want it or not, and by virtue of recognizing what baggage you might have in your trunk and letting that go, by virtue of that, you're going to already go faster.

[00:15:08]
I love that analogy. That's an awesome analogy. It's time to take a short break.

[00:15:16]
When a child, you know, feels worried or scared, do they have the tools they need to make positive decisions? The Power of Thought children's book series. Winner of the Mom's Choice Award is what you've been looking for. The children on the planet Tesla cannot hide their emotions because they haven't learned how to control them. Imagine glowing in the color of how you are feeling.

[00:15:36]
Each book in the series begins with a conflict that every child can relate to and teaches an evidence based strategy that adults can model. Children will learn in a fun way how to problem solve to find positive solutions to everyday situations. The Power of Thought Children's Book Series has been developed alongside clinicians, educators, and parents to use as a proactive resource in teaching children emotional literacy. We are Tasmanians who hover and live on a planet made of crystals. Join us and have some fun.

[00:16:06]
You can become an alien to read these imaginary and practical books to your child, your grandchild, or to your students so they can start practicing the strategies right away. Check it out at Lynn Mclaughlin.com under the books. Tab. Now let's get back to our guest. Okay, I want to talk about Boom Vision, your podcast.

[00:16:26]
I've listened to several episodes. I got to say, I love your voice as well as well as the work you're doing and the messages that you're helping us all kind of grapple with. How did you come up with the name? I think I've shared with you taking the helm, how that all came about. How did you come up with Boom Vision?

[00:16:40]
Yeh, it's a really interesting story. This is one of the times in the universe telling me that this is the name. So when I decided to create a podcast because my intention for creating a podcast was, I wish I had language out there that I can comprehend, and then because I couldn't find it, why not just created, right? And as I was thinking about name, because there's energy behind the words for you. So I wanted the name to be very symbolic of what it represents.

[00:17:09]
And if I think about, okay, what is it that I'm representing here? It's about building and thriving on mind, body, and soul. But to strengthen the mind, it's imagination, voice, and intuition. So if I take those five words imagination, voice, intuition, body, and soul, if I take the first two letters of those five words and I scrabble it. Either you get vision, boom.

[00:17:34]
Or you get boom vision. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And I remember sitting in this office, I was like I said out loud, I was like, well, is it vision, boom, or is it boom vision? And right when I said, that a bird, because I have a window right in front of my office, a bird literally smacked right into my window. I was like, what?

[00:17:56]
And I even took a picture of it because there's still feathers stuck to the windows. No one's going to believe them. I say that. I was like and the birds okay. Right?

[00:18:04]
It was very random, but I was like, okay. I looked up and said, Universe. Got it. It's boom vision. Hear your loud and clear.

[00:18:12]
Oh, wow. No, mine was not that clear, but wow, that's awesome. It's interesting how we all come up with names to represent what we're trying to do and say and portray all of it. Okay, Benjamin so how we start our day off very often is how we align how things are going to happen, either angry or upset or happy or having gratitude. You've got some steps to share with us.

[00:18:36]
How should I start tomorrow? Yeh, no, great question. Lynn so I have a ritual, morning ritual that can help really set not just the intention, but to anchor the energy you want to create for that day, right? And so it's four simple steps. So the first step is being able to get into a comp state.

[00:18:58]
You got to be able to come what I call quite the wind tunnel, because there's always 10,000 things going on in your head. And it's like, wait, how do you calm that first? And then you can get that clarity and what is it that you want to create for that day, that week, that month, and that year? So the first step is getting into the calm state. And I actually created a 1 minute breathing exercise for people that can play, that can share with you at the end, too, where people can just download, because everyone has different ways of calling.

[00:19:26]
Like, if you're telling me to meditate for half an hour and sitting cross legged, I'll fall asleep within a six minute because that method doesn't work with me. But at least you can sit cross-legged for half an hour. Some of us would need a chair.

[00:19:40]
So it's really about how to keep it simple. Because if it's simple, then it's a lot easier for you to adapt. So whatever it is, it can compensate. The second step is setting your intentions, right? We set our intentions before an interview.

[00:19:52]
And so what's? In one phrase, you can say out loud in setting your attention. So a simple statement could be, my intentions for achieving X is why? Because it makes me feel Z. My intentions for achieving X is Y, because it makes me feel Z.

[00:20:09]
Now, this is going to make you think about what X, Y and Z is in that statement. Because I'm going to do something because of what it is, because it makes me feel that way. That will give you clear why you're doing it.

[00:20:25]
Exactly. Because the thing about intuition, you got to feel it. It's a feeling. If you don't practice that sensory of feeling, then guess what? It's hard for you to tap into it.

[00:20:35]
So this statement is really the starting to practice of how do you set that intention? Right? And then once you make that declaration out loud, when you know that feeling, I want to achieve X because of Y, because it makes you feel Z, then now that you have that feeling, hey, what music can you listen to to raise your vibration that matches that feeling? So then the third step is picking the song. What song will raise your vibration?

[00:21:01]
That's complimentary, and that would harmonize that feeling that you stated when you set the intentions. Do you need higher energy? Do you need to feel more confidence? Do you need to feel love, whatever it may be, what's going to support you in accomplishing those intentions? So the first step is listening to a song.

[00:21:19]
Song could be like four or five minutes, right? And then the fourth and final step is making a declaration out loud. I am dot, dot, dot. I am powerful. I am worthy.

[00:21:32]
I am love. I am confident. Whatever that word you feel associated, that will help you reach your intentions. Now, why is I am so powerful of a decoration? I am, I am I stands for intentions.

[00:21:47]
A stands for actions. M stands for manifestation. What I put my intentions to, what I backed up with, my actions I manifest. And by saying it out loud with conviction, I am. That's literally the actions you're taking to make sure that intentions you have in your mind is being declared out to your outer reality.

[00:22:08]
And that's what I want to create. What you just shared resonates with me.

[00:22:16]
I really have struggled with the word meditation huge. So for me, meditating for me is walking in nature, sitting in my back yard, closing my eyes and using all of my senses rather than just vision to be in present and be in the moment. And I struggled with that for a lot of yoga. Okay, Yeh, to a point, Yes. But then when you pull in music, oh, my gosh.

[00:22:38]
That just lifts me up right away. Benjamin because music is I mean, I crank the music to clean my house just to get through it, that kind of thing. And that's a very simplistic example. But now I think you told me you have a playlist to help us choose those songs. Yes

[00:22:54]
No In the website, listeners. It's basically my website, so it's https://www.benjaminyeh.com/

[00:23:05]
Thankyou you're. Able to download and if you subscribe to the Boom Vision community, you're able to download a 1 minute breath rough exercise to help you in that calm state where I just walk you through breathing exercise. Breathe in, breathe out. It just takes 1 minute. And then doing that I have three curated playlists, one for high energy, one for confidence, one for self love and whatever song that you feel you're gravitated towards to help you support that intention you want to create.

[00:23:32]
There are songs already there for you to be able to pick and pick one that just resonates, that becomes like your anthem for the year, for the quarter, whatever it is, and helping to raise that vibration. Oh, I love it. Okay, I'm tuning in as soon as we log off. And I wanted to share a little something funny before we I asked Benjamin, is it Ben or Benjamin? And he said, well, you could call me Ben.

[00:23:51]
Yeh like the French dessert, beignet I had to share that as we were laughing on the side. I have learned so much from you. I'm sure that our viewers and listeners have as well. And if nothing else, everyone please take the first step. Go to Benjamin site, maybe try the breath work, maybe just play a song to find out what resonates with you.

[00:24:12]
But take that first step into becoming more happy and fulfilled and tapping into your soul. I think maybe that links I'm trying to link as well as I can with you, Ben. Thank you. Thank you. And one thing I'll just share too is that if the language of imagination, voice, intuition resonates with you too, I have my Boom Vision podcast that's available on all podcast directories.

[00:24:34]
And so I invite you to also listen and chime in because it's really about how do you create a thriving life at an alignment with your mind buying soul. So I share frameworks, interview folks and experts to help you get different perspectives. That's all it is. And I love how you title your episodes with questions so you can scroll through and find something that resonates with you as a first time listener. So thank you so much.

[00:24:57]
No, thank you. One thing I'll just add to that too is that when you start asking different questions, you start getting different answers that then profoundly can impact the reality you want to create. And so that's really the intentionality behind that. So now we have to learn to ask the right questions.

[00:25:17]
Thank you again. And everything will be in the show notes, everyone, to go and check out what you need to for Ben. Thank you. I'm very grateful to be here. Lynn, thank you so much for having me.

[00:25:27]
Well, I guess there's always something new to learn, isn't there? I suppose that's where the expression lifelong learner comes from. Alison Livingston is our next guest and if you got a combative strong-willed child, you'll want to listen in. A lot of us have been through that experience. She coaches parents and understanding their child's strong emotions.

[00:25:48]
And she has a Five Steps to Connect framework which she's going to share with us. We'll see you in two weeks. Stay healthy and safe, everyone. Thanks for tuning in and posting your review of taking the helm on your favorite platform. We'll give you a shout out in a future episode to be inspired by people who are steering us in the right direction.

[MUSIC OUTRO 00:26:09] Thanks for tuning in and posting your review of taking the helm on your favorite platform. We'll give you a shout-out in a future episode to be inspired by people who are steering us in the right direction. Go to Lynnmclaughlin.com, where you can search previous guests by the topic of your choice. And while you're there, download Lin's gift. There's more than one way to get through a crisis.

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TRANSCRIPT OF MARGARET WALLIS-DUFFY | WHAT'S NEW IN YOUR PREVENTATIVE TOOLBOX? BECOME THE CEO OF YOUR OWN HEALTH

Listen Link

[MUSIC INTRO 00:00:04]
Are you facing a crisis in your life or business? It's time to steer yourself in the right direction through the real experiences, passion and courage of our guests. We're taking the helm with your host, Lynn McLaughlin.

[00:00:20]
Hello to you and thanks again for joining us as we take the helm today, we're going to become the CEO of our own health with our guest, Margaret Wallace Duffy. I am beyond excited to be talking about health in a proactive way as opposed to a reactive way, which is what we've all been trained to do, haven't we? Margaret has been in business for over 30 years. She is going to introduce us to some new home health monitoring technology that is new and approved by Health Canada so that we can move ourselves into a proactive place. If I knew when I was 20 years old what healthcare challenges I might be having now or later in my life, would I have done things differently?

[00:01:00]
I think so. Margaret's going to take us to a place where we can be proactive. Margaret, we have so much to talk about. I really don't know how we're going to do it in half an hour. You know what?

[00:01:10]
I'm so excited to be here, and if we can't get it all in, I can come back. That's right. That's fantastic. I want to start by thanking Marilyn Farnworth. She's a previous guest on Taking the Home.

[00:01:19]
She's also the person I've been going to take yoga in the pool classes with here in Kingston, Ontario. She's very active and very fit, and she is the one who connected the two of us. So. Thank you, Marilyn. I know you're listening because you listen to every single episode every time it's published.

[00:01:34]
All right, let's jump into it because, Margaret, when you told me your story, it's not even the right word. Journey is not right the word. I don't know what we're going to find it here, but when you told your story of illness from childhood all the way through into your adult years, we got to go back to that time so everybody can understand why you're doing the proactive things and becoming the CEO of your Own Health today. Sharing my story is something I'm very passionate about. It really was a gift.

[00:02:01]
I didn't know it at the time, but it really was the foundation that set my career going from a very young age as a very young girl. I was a competitive gymnast. I have amazing parents. I'm an only child. And I went for years undiagnosed, in and out of hospitals with severe abdominal pain, distension in my belly, and I was labeled everything from a drug seeking teen to a hypersensitive only child to a competitive athlete with a nervous stomach. And thank heavens for incredible parents like I had. They continued to advocate for me because they knew it wasn't in my head. They knew there was something wrong. But here's the thing. Lynn I didn't look like my story.

[00:02:44]
I didn't look like the picture that I was projecting or saying that I had. And that's because my disease was internal and it was severe. And it wasn't until university, three years in a row, that I ended up in hospital. I mean, I was in hospital more than out for a good part of my teen years and even into my mid 20s, until I finally said, I'm not leaving this hospital until you find out what's wrong with me. There's something wrong.

When I was diagnosed with very severe endometriosis where there were lesions on my bowel, there was a lesion on my lung that caused a lung collapse. I've had four bowel obstructions as a result of this ten surgeries. When I finally got married and was hoping to get pregnant, it's a major cause of infertility. I had many surgeries before I could have my first child. Hormonally I've been through a lot and what I knew from this really difficult journey, and since then, even since after a diagnosis, I went through menopause.

At the age of 39, I had a fecal transplant. Yeah, a poop transplant, because I had C. Difficile, a hospital borne infection that almost killed me, yet I had a poop transplant to save my life. Here's what I know from my journey and why I'm so passionate about preventative and integrative health, and that's this if it wasn't for conventional medicine, I wouldn't be speaking to you. I'm a science geek.

[00:04:09]
I needed to have surgery when I needed it. But equally, and is profoundly true, if it wasn't for complementary medicine notice I didn't say alternative medicine, because I don't. Let'S talk about that in a minute. Yeah, it wasn't for complementary medicine, I wouldn't be speaking to you either. And so it sparked a spark in my belly that fired me up to want to bring an integrative preventative health clinic to the world long before the world was ready for it.

Because 30 years ago, as a massage therapist, massage therapy wasn't even in the consciousness of most people. I mean, I wouldn't hang my postgraduate diploma, my undergrads in kinesiology, because it said masseuse. I didn't see myself as a masseuse. I saw myself as a preventative health practitioner that was going to change the health and well being physically and emotionally of the people I had the honor of treating. I've earned that respect over the course of the last 30 years.

[00:05:09]
And I've built and I'm sure we'll talk about that wallace for Wellness, an award winning integrative health clinic. But it came from my story, which I feel has given me the experience, the skills, and the ability to be able to educate and empower people to get into the driver's seat of their health and become the CEO of it. Okay, we have a lot to unpack. I want to go back just a little bit because it's a very important piece I think about the diagnosis of endometriosis. So what tools are used right now if someone is experiencing symptoms and you can all look them up online or meet with Mark to find out what that was like.

[00:05:45]
But what diagnostic tools are physicians using to get to that diagnosis now? Well, that's a very interesting question. It's kind of timely because do you know, Lynn, sadly, 30 years, almost 30 years later, just last year, just last year, was there a national strategy put together for endometriosis? For years, women have been suffering and continue to to this day. I went undiagnosed for so long because my ultrasounds were normal, because I didn't always present showing and I had significant disease.

And it wasn't until they went in laparoscopically and could see it for themselves. It's also about training physicians to what to look for. They used to call it chocolate cysts and be looking for these dark blood type lesions where I had pigmented lesions. So even when they did go in, they didn't see them, they didn't know what to look for. I'll be candid, I don't know all the latest and greatest what the new strategy is.

[00:06:41]
I just found out about it. In fact, I got a call from my mom who was in tears saying, turn on the television. You're not the biggest newscast. Tears streaming down both of our faces as we watched the television. And I feel like I had some part in that because I've been an advocate for years, not just in endometriosis, but in preventative medicine and empowering people to be accountable for their health and to be listened to.

They have more technology now, ultrasounds, laparoscopics, therapeutics, the importance of nutrition and diet, the importance of exercise, the importance of mental health and how that connects to chronic pain that I was experiencing. I pushed myself, Lynn, as a young girl, an ambitious girl, an athlete. I was told everything was in my head. So I push, push, push, push, push. Which made me sicker.

[00:07:30]
Sure did. Right now, if we're listening and we're empowering people with a whole toolbox of tools, whether it's endometriosis or any other chronic disease, we have more knowledge now to support people, to prevent disease from progressing, to manage disease when it's here, and even to cope with disease when you have it so you can feel the best you can. That's what I love about what I do. Whether you're going through cancer, whether you've had a brain tumor, whether you're having mental health issues, even when we're sick, we deserve to live as well as we can by being supported by all kinds of measures that support our mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. Wellbeing, all right.

[00:08:13]
So the second thing I wanted to unpack from your introduction, because even we're just going to keep going on is the advocacy piece. When you were in the hospital and said, I am not leaving, I hate to say it, and I don't want to put any more pressure on medical practitioners right now or emergency rooms. There's a big push in Ontario and in many municipalities to have nurse practitioner clinics more expanded, which takes away some of that pressure. But we're still in a responsive, reactive state, right? We are getting our tests when we get those letters from the Ministry of Health saying, it's time for your PAP smear, it's time for your mammogram, it's time for your colonoscopy.

What we're trying to do, Margaret, and I'm so thrilled about this, is how do we find out about these possible diagnoses much, much sooner in our lives, right? How do I find out that maybe I was predisposed to a brain tumor? I don't know. I'm going off on a tangent. But it is about stepping it back.

[00:09:07]
If you could have found out when you were ten years old that you had endometriosis and then maybe that would be a little bit young in most people's eyes, think about the trajectory of your life that you could have changed. You know, it's a very big point and this is a very big discussion, and it's not I'm passionate about this. I could talk and I talked to everyday people about this. I talked to a radiologist about this week in a program that I'm offering right now on bone health. I'll talk to anybody who will listen.

But here's the biggest challenge and the onus is on us. Which is why I use the word or the phrase become the CEO of your health. We have lived in this pill for nail, wait till it's broken, responsive sick care system for so long, where everyday people like you and I are disempowered because we wait possibly until something is broken, or till that diagnosis happens before we take action and take accountability. You're going to hear it from me because we've been taught to be passive and go to our doctor and say, fix me, Doc. I've got many friends that are doctors, that are specialists that I have tremendous respect for.

[00:10:19]
They're important, but so are we. And so are we responsible for listening to our bodies, for articulating. But here's the problem, because we've had a system that doesn't empower people and teach people to listen, to honor that, and to find a way to communicate and work better together with their healthcare team. Because at the end of the day, you're the most important person on your team. Your health care team is you, because it's happening to you.

But our system has not been set up to encourage that. We don't invest in preventative medicine, we invest in reactive medicine. I want to jump in about daughter's physical health, mental health, too. Let's put in more supports. Let's put in more supports as people are getting close to her, falling off the cliff.

[00:11:06]
And I'm with you. It's all of us. It's our whole selves. We have to move back to a proactive mode and here's another link you and I have in common. We have health care navigators.

You and I talked about this, and I get to know you healthcare navigators who actually sit with families and say, well, this is where you need to go for this. If you need speech, you go here. If you need physiotherapy, you go here. That is just crazy. And so you're making a lot easier for us, Mark, at least trying to.

[00:11:32]
Open your awareness and empower you to recognize that you can do this. It takes work. There's going to be a lot of headbutting moments, but find your voice. Break down some of the silos. Find your integrative health team that wants to support you in moving your health and well being forward and your family's health and well being forward, and take some responsibility and recognize that it takes some work, that what we eat matters, if we move matters, what we think matters, all of it works together.

[00:12:06]
Yes. The conventional medical model is we're very lucky to be a candidate and be here when we need that brain surgery, or I have a bowel obstruction and I need surgery. But what about the role we're playing in our day to day, where we're pretending that the onus is on the healthcare system to fix us, but in our day to day living, we're not doing anything to help ourselves. What I want to do is stock people's toolboxes to educate and empower them and encourage them to build the toolbox so that they can go in and start to help themselves find their voice, so they can communicate to their team, health care team, which should be a wide range because we know we live in a siloed healthcare system. You go to the gastroenterologist, but we should all be working better together.

It starts, however, with the everyday person pushing up. We can't wait for the system to completely change and push it downwards. If we're waiting for that to happen, it's going to be a very long time. Have I seen tremendous change in 30 years of my practice? You bet I have.

[00:13:09]
My clinic was 80% doctor referral. I'm partnering with radiologists and other specialists to bring preventative health modalities education to the masses. That's what this next phase of my career is about. When I closed Wallace for Wellness in April of this year, I had a big dream to bring this legacy project so that I could change the way Canadians think about healthcare. It starts with us.

And don't underestimate what each individual person can do because it spreads to their families, to their communities. Oh, yeah. And to be empowered so they can have conversations with their doctor. Not through Doctor Google. Not going on Google and trying to diagnose yourself, but rather taking some ownership, empowering yourself with strategies, taking action and having the conversations in a respectful way.

[00:14:02]
With your proactive way. In a proactive way. So you can get the answers you need, because there isn't one answer for every person.

It's time to take a short break.

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[00:15:24]
Okay, three tentacles again. Let's go to the toolbox. First of all, I'm going to pull everybody. Everyone is listening or watching. Let's all move ourselves into a proactive mode. Wherever you are in your life, whatever age you are at, whatever ailments you have or don't have, let's go to the toolbox.

The toolbox should be customized, because when I think of health care and preventative medicine, it has many silos, doesn't it? It's mental, it's physical, it's emotional, spiritual, it's financial, and all of those matter. And so we need to stock our own toolboxes with what we need as people. What do I mean by that? Well, movement is really important.

[00:16:01]
So what have we got in our toolbox for movement? What have we got in our toolbox for nutrition? Do we have someone in our corner that can help us? Whether it be a dietitian or a holistic nutritionist? And there are tons of resources online, credible resources.

That's one of the positive things about social media is that if you can get connected to the right accounts and the right people, they give a lot of education away for free. There's a lot of resources out there, but you have to dig for them. And I'm trying to work and find ways to help streamline that. It's a big thing to do. But slowly, community by region by region, we can do that regionally to help each other.

[00:16:45]
What's in your toolbox in terms of pain management? Somebody like me, that's a massage therapist. Do you have a massage therapist on your team? Do you have a physio on your team? Do you have a psychologist on your team?

[00:16:57]
A social worker on your team? Who's in your community. So what I'm trying to do is, through education, both preventative health education, perhaps sometimes actual products, state of the art technology. I'm constantly letting my followers and viewers know what I'm finding out. Evidence, informed, health, candidate approved reality that you can get your hands on, but then taking it into their communities so that you can build your toolbox that's going to suit your needs at your stage of life.

Because I got to tell you, Lynn, and I'm sure you'll agree, what I had I needed in my toolbox when I was 25-year-old woman versus what I need now at 55, completely different. Two very different things. Okay, so we talk about mobility, we talk about nutrition. Let's go to the mobile part. You have just had something very exciting happened in the last week.

[00:17:48]
A mobile unit that can change the trajectory for our bone health. Oh, my gosh. I am so honored and beyond excited. I'm still vibrating from this inaugural preventative clinic. Isn't it wonderful than what you're doing just invigorates you and gives you more energy and more drive every time?

[00:18:05]
You're absolutely right. Just like anticipating this podcast today, I get really excited because it's another opportunity to connect, to educate and empower. And that's my mission. I feel blessed. So I was approached by an incredible team of professionals.

[00:18:22]
One who happens to be a funny story, happens to be an ultrasound technician. Her name is Megan Burnester and her partner are cofounders of Sonohealth Inc. They have brought a technology from Italy to Canada that is going to be a game changer when it comes to bone health and bone health prevention. In terms of prevention of osteopenia and osteoporosis, the current standard is DEXA, a bone scan that's done to test the bone architecture and to let you know if you're osteopenic or osteoporosis. Here's the problem.

You don't get access to it until you're a certain age. And doesn't it involve radiation? It involves radiation. And you're absolutely right. Either you don't get access to your 65 or have high risk.

[00:19:12]
But here's the problem. We lose bone mass from peak. Bone mass happens in about 25, and then it starts to decline for all kinds of reasons. Hormonally after giving birth, perimenopause and menopause. Many medications that people are on that they don't even realize are having an impact on their bone health.

So we know that it starts to decline after 25, but we can't qualify for a bone scan until we're in our 50s or 60s. Unless of course are you ready for this? You have a fracture. Yes. So you have a fracture like the patient I had two weeks ago at 58 who fell and fractured her wrist.

[00:19:50]
And guess what? Then they did a DEXA. Well, here's the problem. She now found out she's osteoporotic. But what if we had technology that doesn't have radiation that we could put you into the driver's seat of your health proactively.

So you could find out your bone health and have knowledge so that you could put a treatment plan in place with nutrition, with supplements, with exercise, and with medication if needed. Because here's what we know about osteoporosis and osteoporotic fractures, especially in the aging population. But once you have the fracture, it dramatically impains and impacts quality of life, independence, and even mortality. Don't we want to find out that we might be osteopenic and then or osteoporotic and do things to prevent us from worsening? Or do we want to wait till we have the fracture?

[00:20:45]
Do we want our mother that's in a senior's home to fall and break her hip and find out only then? Or do we want to have the knowledge so we can empower ourselves to make a difference? They came to me to help me to bring this to Canada. We did our first one in collaboration with Health Span Wellness here in Georgetown and Holton Hills, where I live in practice with a naturopathic doctor called Dr. Julia Fountain.

She's incredible. We sold out Dr. Christopher Guest, a radiologist from Royal Victoria Hospital. Barry was there. It was an incredible night of empowerment, of education.

[00:21:21]
And do you know, Lynn, that two or three women that were there and men are welcome to come to didn't know they were osteopenic and two were osteoporotic? And now they can do something to be proactive and you can take this context and apply to so many different things. I'll tell you, bring that mobile unit to every community across Ontario and let's get going. And maybe, Margaret, as people hear about this, they're going to say, I want in, I want in. I want in.

[00:21:47]
Okay, so that's our plan. I get excited. So it says our plan. And in fact, the fact that people now have this report now, do they have to pay for it? Yes, but it's accessible.

[00:22:04]
It's not outrageously expensive. What's the cost? I always say invest in your health now or your illness later. $150 scan. I know many people that are going out to dinner or getting their hair done or whatever, and they're spending that and have nothing to show for it.

You invest in your preventative health and you get this information, not only are you going to get the scan, you're going to be able to hopefully get a team together to help you with your bone health. But here's the other thing we're doing. We're putting together a doctor's package so that the patient can now take it to their physician and say, I have this bone scan. Here's the information that it told me. You read my mind.

[00:22:47]
I was about to ask that exact same question. Is this new technology going to be recognized by doctors? So they look at the scan and say, okay, now what are we going to do about that? And then they're on your team, right? It absolutely is, because it's showing the gold standard currently is DEXA, which is in a lead room.

It's big, it's difficult. This is a mobile device that can go anywhere. If there are clinics out there that want to have it, that's a model as well. We would love to get clinics, other clinics having this, but we'll also bring a mobile clinic to you. But here's the thing, doctors are going to pay attention because the results are as accurate and in some cases, and I'm going to share this, so what was really interesting at our inaugural bone scan day this week is one of the patients brought in her DEXA scan that she just had.

[00:23:37]
And then we did the echo light scan with her and it was really interesting. And the radiologist that was there was quite intrigued to see that because of this REM technology, this new echo light scan that takes ultrasound and instead of ionizing radiation, we were able to depict Osteopenia and the decks ahead and picked that up. Oh my gosh. Wow. How exciting is that?

[00:24:05]
Exciting. And for that person too. My goodness, how much? Now they've got this information that they can advocate for themselves and go forward. All right, I've got to ask you the question, Margaret, because right now in Ontario doesn't matter.

It's around the world. So this is approved by Health Canada, to be clear. Yes. So the challenge between private health care and public health care, this is a proactive measure. Yes.

To pay cash, to get some information, to then go to your provider to get all of the treatment shot, you say, looking at the options that are available to you through the publicly funded system. So to me, you know what, it's just a difficult conversation to have with people because of that privatization of healthcare. You know what, I think I'm going to maybe be a bit controversial here. But do it, go for it. Let's do it.

[00:24:58]
I think one of the gifts that Covet is given, and there's not been many, because it's been a very challenging time for all of us, for our world, for our system. And I don't want to minimize in any way the people that have been lies have been lost and the stress that everybody's been under. What I've seen as a practitioner in preventative health that COVID has done is has woken people up to their wellness and sadly has made them actually recognize and pay attention to the fact that this already strained health care system long before the pandemic was here, this safety net of a hip where we thought it was the saving grace and it would always be there for us. You could go to your doctor, you could go to emerge, you could get your surgery. They're realizing, oh my goodness, that may not be the case.

[00:25:50]
It's not the case. Listen to our medical practitioners alone, our nurses in the emergency room who are at their burning point or at their breaking point, medical practitioners who are taking their own lives because exactly. We can't do it. That's why we have to take some ownership of our own health. And if that requires us to invest a little bit in it now, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.

I want to advocate for insurance companies to cover this, just like they cover my services for massage therapy or physio or whatever it may be. But let's be candid. Are we not willing to invest, in this case, $150, if it means the difference between your health, your independence, your longevity, your quality of life, but you'll spend $150 going through Starbucks for a month drinking stuff that perhaps could reduce your well being or through the McDonald's drive through or wherever it will be. It is a mindset and a choice. And I think the hard work has to happen.

[00:26:55]
And when I said a gift from COVID, people are waking up and changing their mindset, recognizing, oh, wait a minute, I need to be more accountable. And I feel for people because our system has taught them to be passive and they don't know where to start. Which is why I'm so excited and passionate about this next phase of my career in advocating and educating and empowering everyday people to get in the driver's seat of their health. And yes, sometimes you may need to invest. I'm going to continue to advocate with people like you and others in our system so we can help our system be healthier, help ourselves be healthier, and as a result, be better together.

[00:27:34]
It's long overdue. I think Covid just highlighted how bad. It was, and I think our youth are pushing back and saying, no, I'm not working 80 hours, weeks anymore. And if you don't figure it out, guess what? You don't have enough employees.

And how many help wanted signs do you see around? I'm totally with you, Margaret. You know that. That's why we're here together. I can afford the $160 to have this bone scan done.

[00:27:55]
I can drive to wherever there's going to be a clinic if I really feel this way. Is there something, some type of a subsidy that's available for people who are stealing from Peter to pay Paul with an expression my mother used to use, what's available? Because that's the equity piece, right? When we talk about the private and the public. This is brand new.

[00:28:14]
We just had our first inaugural clinic. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say. I remember when I started 30 years ago, massage therapy, I wouldn't, like I said, hang my diploma because it said masseuse and there was no coverage for massage therapy. We've come a long way. Sure.

Still more to go. A lot more to go. So as of right now, subsidies? No, certainly. Could it be a write off on your taxes?

[00:28:40]
Absolutely. Am I going to advocate strongly for getting some insurance covered? Yes. Currently, I'm not aware. Of anything, you'll be the first to know.

If stuff like that comes down the pipe, I recognize in my heart bleeds because I do understand that the $150 is a lot of money. I'm not saying it's trivial, without a doubt. That being said, sometimes even if someone has to wait to save up some money and put $5 aside, we spend money. And this is coming from a place of love and support and advocacy, and I know people are struggling to put food on the table, so I'm not minimizing that at all. But I do think that it's amazing how much and I've done exercises with some of my patients about this and tracking what they're spending during the month on whatever.

[00:29:36]
Maybe it is just going through Tim Horton’s drive-through and they're shocked to see at the end of the month how much has gone through the drive-through door window and they're looking at that disposable income. Well, if we shift our mindset and say, okay, you know what, I really want to take some control of my health because it's important, I'm going to put $5 aside away until we can find those subsidies or insurance or changes in the legacy of healthcare in this country, which isn't going to happen overnight. It's just not. Then maybe we can. But I hear you.

I'm also thinking, how can we do fundraisers? How can we help communities fundraise so that marginalized populations can have access to things like this? When there's a will, there's a way, but when technology in our hands and a passion and fire in our bellies to make a difference, there's solutions. Are they here right now? I love your idea of tracking your expenses, too.

[00:30:27]
And I just saw this online a couple of days ago, I thought, brilliant. I haven't looked into it. I'm not going to say the name of the app, but basically if you go to Starbucks and spend oh, I don't know, because I'm not a Starbucks shopper, what is it, $7 a drink? Then when you spend that $7, you put $7 immediately into this account on this app. Or don't spend that $6 or $8, instead, put that in, do that immediate deposit.

[00:30:50]
And maybe it takes a little bit of time, but $150 could be there for your health, for your future, because all of the things that you went through growing up, man, if we could go back 20 years to say what are some indicators and what we can we do differently? And I'm not suggesting that we wait for a diagnosis, right? We all know about nutrition, we all know about exercise, we all know about vitamin intake and those kinds of things. But you're right, Margaret, we do have this way of thinking that, yeah, with a problem. I'll deal with it right now.

[00:31:19]
I'm just going to live my life. I love to give this analogy because it resonates with my patients and it is a mindset shift, and I understand that it's well entrenched for decades in our system, in our culture, but we do ultimately have control. And when I explain this to people, we have wellness and we have sickness, and typically in our healthcare sick care system, if I had a penny for every time somebody that I treat says to me, mark, I just don't feel right, or I don't feel well, but my doctor says everything is within normal range. When we get quiet and we quiet down the noise and we truly listen to our bodies, when we get real about our actions or inactions that we do day to day, our choices, I don't make all the right choices. I'm not here standing on his rope box because I'm not perfect.

[00:32:19]
But if we get real about what we choose to put in our bodies, on our bodies, whether we move or don't move, the stress, wind or all of those things, and we get real about it, we realize and this is what I say rather than waiting until you finally get a diagnosis, because your levels have gone to a point where medical science can detect it. And that's what we value because we invest in this country in reactionary medicine and diagnostics, which is important, but we as people the body knows. There's a great book called The Body Keep Score, and I suggest your readers listen for the auto book or read it. I have laid my hands on people for 30 years. The mind and body are connected, and when we listen to our bodies, it tells us a lot.

[00:33:04]
What I like to refer to this middle wellness sickness right in here is the opportunity gap. Right in here is a chance to make a difference. This is where I've lived and where I work in this preventative medicine area where it's empowering, where you can still change the needle. And maybe rather than get to this diagnosis, you either starve it off longer or we don't get there at all. And what does that do?

[00:33:34]
Not only does it not tax our system as much, it doesn't cost health care as much, but more importantly, it increases and improves the health and well-being of everyday Canadians, mentally and physically, day in and day out. So we can live well until we don't. And that is so important. Rather than wait till it's broken, let's patch you together and, oh, when you've got a symptom, let's give me another pill for that symptom. Now, don't get me wrong. I've taken many medications in my life, and they've saved my life. But numbing society and wanting a quick fix is not the answer. I work with so many pharmacists. We need pharmacology when we need it. But what about taking action and accountability and utilizing that opportunity gap?

[00:34:22]
CEO of your own health, as you say? Yeah, that's it. Okay. I want to go back to the very beginning I still have these little things in my mind, these tentacles. Wait, wait, we gotta get to this, get to that, because I was using, until you and I had a conversation, the term alternative health choices.

When we talk about naturopaths and you have cautioned me that that's not a term I should be using. Let's help everyone understand so they can learn with us, with me. Yeah. And I understand that everybody's vocabulary and the way they present themselves may be different, but words matter. Especially when it comes to changing mindset and culture and human behavior.

[00:35:05]
It matters. So when we think about the word alternative medicine, in my mind, I think you either do this or you do that. You see your doctor or you see your naturopath, you see your doctor, you see your chiropractor. I like to think of the word complementary medicine because at the end of the day, the person in the center is you. The ones that are living in your body and know your health the best.

We're surrounding you with a health care team of, I hope, like-minded professionals all within their own right, both from conventional and complementary medicine. So your doctors, your surgeons, your dietitians, your naturopaths, your physios, your massage therapists, all of them, to link arms and work better together with one purpose in mind, to educate and empower you, to take action in your health and to make sure that you are part of that health care team that's going to help to move you forward. So just by changing the word that we use, the connotation that that brings, that you have a choice to make. And this isn't only from the patient perspective, but I challenge my health care professionals, all that alternative thing. And I'm not saying, listen, I want things to be evidence-informed.

[00:36:22]
I want things to be proven and shown in research, without a doubt. But I earned the respect to have 80 plus percent doctor referral. I'm working with radiologists and optometrists and all kinds of people that a lot of massage therapists don't because they've earned a respect. Why? Because I know what I'm doing and I stay in my lane.

[00:36:42]
I respect what they're doing and they stay in their lane. But I'm the connector to bring them both together, which is the role I'm playing in this new phase of my career, to say, no, we're better together as one rather than to be an alternative. So I cautioned you because if we can change the way we speak about this neuroplasticity, we're going to lay down new pathways of thinking and doing and changes in behavior that I think will serve our children and grandchildren in years to come. And that's interesting because when I use the word alternative, I never, ever thought of it as this or that. To me it was.

But obviously people interpret things in different ways. A lot of people this is like pie in the sky, but it's not pie in the sky because you're already making it happen. You're already helping us change our perspective. You've already got a mobile lab that's ready to go that can put people in there in that driver's seat for bone health. And every one of my podcast interviews now with my guests, I always want to talk about children's mental health.

[00:37:46]
You've had personal experience yourself, talk about your qualifications and some of the really awesome things that are now available that we probably don't even know about. I sure didn't before I spoke with you. Well, thank you. Yeah. With my background in kinesiology from the University of Waterloo, my postgraduate massage therapy, I've gone on to do my international certification with infants and children's with special needs.

I've done several research workshops at the Jackson Medical Center, University of Miami School of Medicine, and I even did my professional designation as a consultant in aging because that's how I treat every age and stage of life. And it excites me to really be able to give a practical, hands-on approach to stocking your toolbox. So whether I'm speaking at a workplace wellness event. Whether I'm speaking at a senior's home or in a community or on a podcast. I literally have a toolbox.

Because what better way to engage people and to make them feel like they can practically do something than to pull it out into a toolbox and pull it out to say. Hey. Listen. If you're willing to fix your car. Fix your home.

[00:38:54]
Fix everything in your life. Why don't you have a preventative health toolbox? Now, depending on what we're talking about or the population that I'm speaking with, I'll put different things in my toolbox or your toolbox, but some consistent things that I talk about when we're talking about children's mental health, it's something I'm crazy passionate about. As a massage therapist, I have seen more in the past two to three years with depression, anxiety, and panic in children than I care to admit. And the laying on of hands is such a powerful, healing way.

And the one thing that the pandemic taught us is that we are frontline health care professionals as massage therapists because touch is powerful. When a global pandemic said we couldn't connect, we couldn't touch one another, the failure to thrive for all human beings was rooted in our inability to have connection. That's what I do for a living. I lay hands on. I see that in children.

[00:39:54]
All right, Margaret, let's go from children to seniors. And I don't think my aunt would mind me using her as an example. 85 years old, I think my aunt is now, and, oh, my gosh, she's broken so many bones in her body and recently eight ribs. I don't know. I would like to think that there's something else that's available to her right now that can get her through.

I don't know how long it takes ribs to heal. But I can imagine it's a very long time due to her age as well. It's probably going to be longer. Yeah, I'm so sorry to hear about that. And this is something I hear and see in my practice and also in my life.

[00:40:28]
My father, rest his soul, broke his femur at 84, his arm just months before he died, and ribs, as well as compression fractures. And that's one of the reasons why we're so passionate about this new echo light scan and why the radiologist, Dr. Christopher Guest, was so excited about it, because he's the guy that's seeing these fractures in the hospital and watching the suffering that's happening. And when people live, seniors are living in retirement homes or long-term care, if we know that someone is osteoporotic. And in terms of this echo-like scan, what's incredible about it, not only does it give us a score and tell us about the bone architecture, but it gives a fragility risk score for a fracture, or osteoporotic fracture within the next five years.

[00:41:14]
Why should we care about that? Well, it's critical because if we understand, say you work in a long-term care facility or in a retirement home, if you know that Mrs. Smith has a high risk of a fracture in the next five years, well, we might approach her care day to day. Maybe she's not showering by herself. Maybe we're going to make decisions differently, because we know that she's at a high risk of a fracture that could change drastically, change her life, her health, and even her lifespan by knowing in advance.

[00:41:48]
And then things like, I think immediately of your aunt and my dad, this microcurrent point stimulation device for pain and helping to heal something caught, helping to heal bone and reduce pain and inflammation is so important, and it's natural, and it's not going to have often side effects, which is so important. So even though they may be medicated, there are other things like the microcurrent point stimulation therapy device and preventative things like the scan that we should know in our toolbox. And that's what excites me about what we're doing. Are there any cautions, people who should not use that device for whatever reason. Somebody with a pacemaker or less doctor permission?

[00:42:30]
Because there are cases where you can, and I would always say, talking, talk to your health care professional that has educated you about this and have that support. I have people at all ages and stages using the dolphin device. It's unbelievable. But connect with somebody like me so I can educate you and help you navigate the waters and find the best solution for you. But I always want to have different things in my toolbox.

And I'm excited to pull a couple of things out today because this particular device, Health Canada approved, FDA approved. I've been using this device for going on seven or eight years. I've been involved in some research behind it. Okay, so as you're explaining it, Margaret, remember that the large majority of our audience are listening and not viewing. So you're just going to have to be very articulate.

[00:43:21]
I'm going to show it and then I put it down because I could explain it. So this little device that kind of looks like a television converter is a remarkable device that I've seen jaw-dropping results in a wide range of populations. So what is it? This takes the principles of needless acupuncture so it doesn't pierce the skin needless acupuncture and combines it with microcurrent. Now not current like you would see in a ten machine, which is alternating current.

[00:43:53]
This device has direct current which mimics the current in our body. Why should we care? Well, we know through tons of studies and thousands of years of using acupuncture and acupuncture meridians, we can have a tremendous impact on the nervous system, which can impact inflammation, pain, anxiety, depression, healing. It can put the body or take the autonomic nervous system from a sympathetic overdrive state to one that's parasympathetic, rest and digest and heal state. When I was involved in some of the research and I've used this clinically and I put this in the hands of hundreds of Canadians, because that's the cool thing about this.

[00:44:38]
I can use this in my clinic, but then it can be put in the hands of everyday people like you and I. It even comes with for those that aren't watching video, it has actually a protocol book, almost like a paint by numbers. Like check this out, you got headaches. Here's where you put the device and this is what you can do to help with your headaches. Whether you are a child with anxiety, whether you're my mother who is almost 80 and was using it during the pandemic for her cluster migraines and to help with her COPD.

[00:45:13]
How cool is it that we get to put into your hands an evidence-informed Health Canada approved device that every day can have an impact on your autonomic nervous system, to decrease pain, to decrease inflammation, to improve circulation, to drop cortisol your stress hormone and to do so much more. And just this spring, an attachment for the device came out and it's been approved as one of the first devices to impact tone of the vagus nerve, the largest nerve in your body to be used for covert long-haul recovery. All right, why don't we know about this? Because it's not a secret. That's why people like you inviting people like me.

[00:46:01]
Get the word out is that I got top-notch new technologies. Whether it's the echolite bone scan or the microcurrent point simulation therapy device, this is my job. It's to educate and empower. And then guess what? Hundreds of my patients have had this covered through their extended health insurance plan now and then they're using it at home every day to help themselves to help their children to help their aging parents.

[00:46:27]
You don't know about it because it's so new and it takes time to penetrate. Which is why I tirelessly work at Media. At writing. At social media. At public Speaking. And every day. Hour by hour in my clinic to bring you the latest and greatest things out of your toolbox. Just like this. If I could. Because this is very accessible and I actually know the inventor in Canada.

[00:46:51]
This looks just like a regular mat, but oh, no, it isn't. This mat is called a spike mat, and it also comes in a cushion form. I sold so many of these through the pandemic and people are sitting at a computer and they've got back pain and sciatica. The mat is actually called Spike because for those that can watch, there's hundreds of spikes that move in 360 degrees, diffusing pressure over a larger surface area, taking pressure off nerves, increasing circulation, and proprioception. It's a game changer for so many conditions.

[00:47:27]
It's simple. It's closed-cell formulation. It's good for prevention of sciatica, prevention of flathead and children, helping with poststroke recovery, helping children with special needs with proprioception, helping when you're sitting at your desk and taking pressure off the spine if you have the nuclear disc. And at the end of the day, the seat cushion is $54. Okay, so I'm interested in all three.

[00:47:53]
I'm putting myself in the seat of everyone who's driving, listening, walking, watching, whatever. Where can I go? Because when we're advocating for ourselves, we're gathering information, we're making informed decisions. Where can I go and find all the information, not only about these three devices, about the toolkit, about the traveling mobile clinic. And hey, everybody, if you're listening, maybe reach out to someone in your own community and say, have you heard about what Margaret Wallace Duffy is doing?

Let's get this mobile clinic here. Let's start pushing it forward. Where am I sending people? Margaret? So thank you, first of all, for having me and for being an advocate with me.

[00:48:29]
I want to link arms and partner with people like you that share my vision because I can't do this alone and it excites me. So my website is going through a transition right now because I did own a multidisciplinary award-winning clinic for 30 years. And on April 1, I took the leap of faith and sold that so that I could have time to do more of this advocacy work. I'm still treating a little bit, but I'm doing more of this bigger-picture stuff. That being said, if you go to www.wallisforwellness.com. Wallis is spelled W-a-l-l-i-s.

[00:49:00]
You're going to see the website and you're going to see the transformations that are happening. You're also going to be able to go to become the CEO of Your Health.com. They'll be linked and you can reach out to me, send me an email. I am accessible.

[00:49:15]
If you are a practitioner, and you want a bone scan in your community, if you want information on the spike mat or the dolphin, if you want me to speak at your workplace, if you want to partner with me in some way. Because you share the vision of making Canadians more accountable for their health and becoming the CEO of It so we can together change the legacy of healthcare. You can even send me an email, become the CEO of Your Health@gmail.com, or give me a call, 647-577-4757. You can find me on social media, you can find me on YouTube, become the CEO of Your Health on YouTube. You can get me anywhere you want.

[00:49:51]
I will listen. And I am looking to partner with people that share my vision. Health care professionals and everyday people, corporations and government. Everyone needs to be at this table. We've got a lot of work to do, but I'm up for the challenge.

[00:50:07]
Do we have a cloning device? Well, you just put out there. I can't imagine how you could possibly keep up, but oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm not. Because I've already got partners like you.

[00:50:19]
Right? I've already got partners like you. I'm not doing this alone. I happen to be the center of Spoken, a wheel. But I've created a network over the last 30 years that it's spinning and catching different people as we go.

Which is why I was grateful for Marilyn to forward my information to you and for me to meet you and the amazing work that you're doing. We can do this better together as one. So I'm not alone. And I just know that the more we get this out there so thank you for allowing me, the better. This is going to be beautiful and very inspiring closing words.

[00:50:51]
Thank you so much, Margaret. It's been my honor and my pleasure to have you with me. And I know we'll stay connected. You bet you we will. And we're coming to Kingsville.

[00:50:59]
So let's find a clinical location, a community center, somewhere that we can come this fall to become the CEO of Your Health. Phone. Scan the echolite scan. Our team would love to come. I've put a couple of feelers out, so we'll just see. You may get a call in the next few days. All the best of health and happiness to you and yours. And to you, too.

Now, let's flip the switch to our next guest. It's Benjamin Yeh. Benjamin is the host of a podcast called Boom Vision, and he empowers entrepreneurs to gain clarity in their souls, purpose, and truly thrive in their business and their life. And you'll find out why Benjamin has moved in this direction because of the crisis that he faced himself. Stay healthy and safe, everyone. See you in two weeks.

[MUSIC OUTRO 00:51:52] Thanks for tuning in and posting your review of taking the helm on your favorite platform. We'll give you a shout-out in a future episode to be inspired by people who are steering us in the right direction. Go to Lynnmclaughlin.com, where you can search previous guests by the topic of your choice. And while you're there, download Lin's gift. There's more than one way to get through a crisis.

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TRANSCRIPT OF SONIA DONG | WHAT WE FOCUS ON GROWS … FROM CRISIS TO CREATING A FASION REVOLUTION!

Listen Link

[MUSIC INTRO]
Are you facing a crisis in your life or business? It's time to steer yourself in the right direction through the real experiences, passion and courage of our guests. We're taking the helm with your host, Lynn McLaughlin.

[00:00:20]
Hey, and welcome back to Taking the Helm. I want to start with some congratulations because as you may know, we just celebrated our 100th episode on Taking the Home. And our guest for that day was Kiran Diol, who is a family and child nutritionist and she offered a 1 hour free consultation. So I want to congratulate the winner, which is Lissa Morris. And I've connected you, Kiran with Lissa. Also, Sandra Lowry will be meeting with me to talk about all things marketing and book launching. And congratulations to Andre Blanchett who has been mailed copies of I Have Choices and J’ai des choix.

[00:01:08]

So, congratulations to all of you and just thrilled to be moving on to, I think, our 102nd episode today. And with that, our guest today is Sonia Dong. She's written part of a book called Mama's Got to Grow. She speaks about perfectionism, control and gratefulness. Sonya is an earth loving mama of two girls who runs Henkaa. It's a socially impactful Toronto clothing brand. And through Henkaa, she's creating a fashion revolution where one time you special occasion dresses and tops become a thing of the past. With Henkaa, the size is all inclusive and women and girls can wear the clothing through all seasons of life. Sonia is going to be speaking about the tragic loss of a friend who was also the founder of the company and what she had to grapple with to not only pay tribute to her friend and her friend's vision, but to keep the company going. Thanks, Sonia Dong joining us on Taking the home. Thanks, Glenn. Thanks for having me.

[00:01:55]
Oh, my goodness. You have a lot to share and I know you'll be helping many of our listeners and viewers. And let's go back as we always do in our podcast, every single episode, guests like you, Sonia, who have had to reset because of a crisis in their life for their business. And you certainly had to do so to get to where you are today with a very successful business. And as a mother, let's go back to that time, as challenging as it was, because it can take us to the possibilities.

[00:02:25]
Yeah, it was about 2019. Our founder at Tanka actually passed away, Joanna, I call her Joe. And she was a really good friend of mine and also, at the time, my boss. But she became ill a couple of years before that and it was just a lot to. I guess.

[00:02:50]
Intake and trying to help make sure the business was still running. But then also trying to separate but not being really able to separate that business part from that business relationship. From that personal relationship and then just really believing the whole time that she would get better. And that I was just like a steward for the company while she was away. Basically.

[00:03:22]
And just saying. Okay. Well. I'm just going to keep it going the way it is. Status quo.

[00:03:28]
Until she comes back. And that was always the thought that was in my mind. And it was like I didn't even entertain the thought of what would happen if she didn't, how would I feel personally, how would I handle the business, that kind of thing. And then the unimaginable happened and she passed. And then it was just this almost like a barrage of people asking questions and not me not having that time to just decompress or to grieve or.

[00:04:07]
The grieve that you love. Yeah. And I think that was the first time. It was the first time that I had ever lost somebody who was close to me in terms of not a family member as well. I had lost older family members before who had lived fuller lives, you know, like the longer life ban and that kind of thing.

[00:04:31]
So it still came as such a surprise to me and I just kind of shut down and as a person who is my husband will say, I'm very empathetic, I feel strong emotions and to at that time just kind of shut it off and say, okay, I just have to answer these questions from people. I have to answer questions around, I have to fill, make sure that the staff are okay and that everybody else was okay. And I didn't really look inside into myself.

[00:05:11]
It took a long time. And when she passed away in July 2019, and then the pandemic happened a few months, not even a year later. And so I was just coming out of that really hard grief and teasing around my emotions and like separating them and dealing with them one by one. And then the pandemic happened, and I just was like, oh my gosh, something else is happening. And again, went through that similar kind of questioning, do I keep the company going?

[00:05:55]
Am I keeping the company going for me or for her? And there are all these questions that were swirling around, and I started seeing a therapist and it was online because of covet and so just started doing a lot of work in terms of self-compassion and looking at my life long, I guess, struggle with perfectionism and how that was influencing me. And also seeing that I was putting so much into my work and feeling guilty about not that I wasn't looking after the children, but not in a way that I wanted to be present for them. Right? Yeah.

[00:06:40]
Okay. Wow. We can go on a few different directions. First of all, my condolences. 2019 seems like a long time ago, but it certainly wasn't. So, on the passing of Joanna. But I see three different trajectories here that we can talk about. First of all, could you clarify what your role was at the time that you stepped in? Were you a co-founder? Were you a manager? What was your role?

[00:07:01]
When Joanna became sick, I was a manager. Okay. So, I wasn't a co-founder. She was the sole founder, and she brought me on after my maternity leave in 2012. The company started in 2010, so I had been following along. She actually wore her first dress. It's a convertible dress that you can tie in different necklines. She actually wore her first one to my wedding. Yeah, we have to talk about Henkaa and what Henkaa is. You can get back to that one. That one's a very happy, fun story. But after I had my first child, she was like, Come and work with me. And I really believed in the business and what she was trying to do to empower women and help them find freedom in their fashion choices.

[00:07:53]
I had joined, and it was a small company, so I was doing a lot of different things, and I would just kind of fill different roles as was needed and kind of growing along the way. And then when she became sick, I was the program manager, and I don't even remember my role, my title anymore. But I was in a position, I guess, where, because she wasn't there, I could oversee things. Right. And I wanted to be able to do that for the company as well. I just want to explain the reason for asking, because I think for business owners, for small business owners, for growing businesses, we may think we're young and we're invincible, but transition planning is really important, right? So to train people in these very important things so that when something happens, god forbid things happen every single day a broken leg, a diagnosis, a car accident, who knows? Bereavement so that someone can step into the role and maybe not face the same pressures that you did during that time. That's one piece of it.

[00:09:07]
And then the emotional piece where you're attached to someone as someone you love. And the professional thing, I don't know, Sonia, that anybody could have separated the two. So, I hope you've forgiven yourself for that piece. But is it even possible when the pressures of a company are now on your shoulders and you've got to find time to grieve, you've got to find time to take care of yourself, but to take the chance that the company goes under or suffers a loss, those pressures must have been enormous at that time. Yeah, they really were.


I kept on thinking a lot of the things that went through my head were like, oh, my gosh, I'm not ready for this point. The succession planning and the training and also things coming up that were externally outside of my control. Right. Definitely something out of my control. So these past few years, I've really learned to try to separate that part, even though I couldn't really separate my emotional attachment to the business or to Joanna or any other part of my life. Really learning to sit and reflect on things that were happening in my life and thinking, okay, what is in my zone of control and what is outside of my control? And what can I do to just help myself in those areas that I do have control in? Right.

[00:10:37]
I love the way you frame that, because too often we get caught up on things that we don't have any we worry, we worry. We worry about things we have no control over. So focusing on what we do and making those conscious choices is so critical. But it's not easy. It's not an easy thing to do. Everything going on around us. I'm sure Joanna will be absolutely thrilled with what you've taken the company from, gotten it through Covet. Let's talk about Henkaa now. Sure. Yeah.

[00:11:05]
So the name of the company actually means change in Japanese. That's how when she was looking for a name for the company, it really represents the company's whole ethos in terms of understanding that we are always changing throughout life. And that is the only thing that is constant, is change. Right. And how do we approach that? How can we be more resilient with that? And with Henkaa, it's through a fashion lens. It's through clothing. So Joanna had been going she was building her professional career. She was traveling.

[00:11:49]
She was going to a lot of weddings. So she was just buying a lot of clothes that she had to spend a lot of money on. I get it. My son just got married. I got three more weddings on the horizon.

[00:12:01]
So yeah, this is really interested in what you're about to share. Yeah. She had all these things in her closet, and she could only wear one time. Like, maybe it goes out of fashion. Somebody has already seen her wear it.

[00:12:15]
She doesn't fit into it anymore. All the things that we go through as a woman, and it's like that movie with Catherine Heigl 27 Dresses, where she has a whole closet of 27 dresses because she's been a bridesmaid that many times. A useless closet right. With things that are just wasteful. Right.

[00:12:41]
You spent your money. You can't use it anymore. It's also something where who knows if anybody wants to wear it anymore? So she found out about this convertible dress idea, and she was like, I want to make it even better, because one of the core problems that we have as women is our bodies do change throughout our life, and so our weight fluctuates no matter what our journeys are. So she was like, I'm going to make a dress that is stretchy and comfortable, so that when you put it on, it conforms to your body.

[00:13:15]
Instead of you having to change yourself to fit into something, that dress should fit to you. And it really is. It's like stretchy and comfortable. And so the main dress that we have, the one that she started off with as she worked my wedding, it only has two size ranges, a zero to 14 and a 14 to 24. So you're telling me that I no longer have to have those sizes that I might fit into again sometime in my life off to the side of my closet?

[00:13:44]
Exactly. You know that it's one of those things that you can have in your closet that you can always put on. And for me, after having two children, my Henkaa addresses are the only things in my closet I still have.

[00:14:05]
It's time to take a short break. When a child, you know, is feeling worried or scared, do they have the tools they need to make positive decisions? The power of thought. Children's book series is what you've been looking for. The children on the planet Tesla cannot hide their emotions because they haven't learned how to control them yet. I Have Choices, the first book in the series begins with a conflict that every child can relate to and teaches an evidence-based strategy that adults can model for everyday use. Children will learn in a fun way how to problem solve and find positive solutions to everyday situations.

The Power of Thought Children's Book Series has been developed alongside clinicians, educators, and parents to use as a proactive resource in teaching children emotional literacy. We're Tezranians who hover and live on a planet made of crystals. Join us and have some fun. You can become an alien too read this imaginary fun and practical book to your child, your grandchild, or to your students so they can start practicing the strategy. If I have Choices right away, check it out atlynnmclaughlin.com under the books tab. Now let's get back to our guest.

[00:15:22]

Even though I had things that I could fit into again, you know, as a mom, right, your body still changes. Different parts of your body sit differently after you have children, right? So even if something fits, it doesn't look right anymore. But because the hank addresses do adjust your body, they still fit me. And the other thing about it is that they are so versatile and you can tie them into different necklines so that it can transform into a completely different dress. It's like a Transformer or a convertible car. It's like very visually, when you see that transformation happen, you're like, oh my gosh, how did you even do that?

And that's exactly what she did when she came to my wedding in 2009. She wore a purple dress and a one shoulder. She wore it in a one shoulder version. She came to the table and somebody else was wearing a one shoulder purple dress. And normally you'd say, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? I look exactly the same as somebody else. She said, no problem, I'll be right back. I'm just going to go to ladies room. And she changed it into, like, a high neck halter dress. And people saw her in the washroom and said, Where do I get that dress?

And she said, I'm going to make it. It's coming soon. And I always say that if my wedding was a few months later, my bridesmaids could have had hank dresses, too, because it was such a headache trying to find dresses to fit all their different styles and body sizes. And my understanding is you also have the accessories to change it up so it never looks the same way twice. Yeah, exactly.

[00:16:48]
We do have some jewelry and necklaces. We have tube tops to provide more coverage, and sashes, which are pieces of fabric that are kind of like flexible belts. And then it's really easy to accessorize from your own closet as well. So you can pair it with, like, a jean jacket or a leather jacket or with different types of shoes and purses, and you'll get different looks. And you can do things like wear it to work or wear it on travel just by changing the accessories that you wear the dresses with.

[00:17:24]
Well, like I said before, I'm sure Joanne is very proud of what you've done with the business and carried on her legacy and her vision. To me, this meets a lot of needs, not just in terms of women's attire, but equity, inclusion, all of those kinds of things. Yeah. It's really important to us that we are inclusive in our sizing. Way back, I think it was in 2013, we actually did something called equality pricing. So a lot of plus size clothing is actually more expensive than smaller size clothing, which we find is very inequitable. And so we said we're going to make everything the same price. We're going to make sure that whenever we make new dresses and styles, that they're going to fit up to size 24. And then we also want to represent women of different shapes and sizes and different ethnicities and life journeys in our marketing. So you'll see that when you look on our Instagram or on our website, we don't have just size women who are size two wearing the dresses.

[00:18:40]
And my guess is the dresses are not a $600 dress that you would typically be looking at if you were standing in a wedding. Yeah, most of our dresses are under $250, and they're also made in Canada. Oh, that's good to know. Yeah. And because their size flexible and stretchy, you don't have to go through that nightmare of going to the alterations multiple times and spending more money on that, too, because what happens a lot is you buy a dress that's $300, then you're going to have to pay $150 for alterations. Then it can only be dry cleaned, and there's all these things. Right. And then you can't wear it again. The cost per wear of our dresses is really great because you can wear it to a wedding and then you can wear it to a different event later on. You can wear it out on date night, so it's very versatile.

And then you can also it's machine washable as well, so it's easy to take care of. We just want to make life easier for women. It sounds like you most definitely are, and I will certainly check it out. Sonya, you're also an author. You've written a chapter in the book called Mama's Got to Grow, and you called the chapter perfectly Grateful, and you had some really wonderful insights into perfectionism control.

[00:20:04]
Tell us a little bit about what your main message is without giving up too much, because we want people to read the entire book. Yeah, it was looking at how perfectionism has affected my life since being a young girl and knowing that I mean, I come from an immigrant Chinese family, so when I was growing up, my parents really focused on education, and they really wanted us to have really good grades so we can get higher education that they weren't able to have. And so they would say things that were seems innocuous, but it gets kind of ingrained into a child's brain. Right. They would say things like, oh, my gosh, you got an A, where's the plus?

[00:20:55]
Or you got 92, where's the other 8%? And you're always thinking of, okay, well, if I get that, then I'm perfect, right? And that it's just not good enough if I'm not. And so you're also always chasing that perfectionism, and that's just kind of been ingrained into my body and my brain. Right.

[00:21:19]
As my coauthor says, my niece, who's also a social worker, she coauthored the children's book series with me. It's the self-talk that starts from the time you're a child all the way through, that you're not good enough. You've made a mistake. Oh, I should have done better. And it just that becomes tough as you grow older.

Yeah. And how that perfectionism really affected me when I became a mom. Because as a mom. And when you have social media and you have movies and you see all these women and they're so happy and glowing when they're pregnant and everything's going so well. And they're so happy when the baby comes out and the baby sleeps and.

[00:22:02]
All these stories it's a fairy tale. Not total fairy tale. And I always thought, Why isn't this working? And because I was, like, reading books, so I was reading all these parenting books with all this advice, and nothing was working, and I thought I was really failing as a mom and so thinking about how I can be. And then because I was also a working mom, after my maternity leave, I went back to work and just feeling like I was not perfect at work and not perfect as a mom and all of that all of that going on. And so what I talked about in the book was some of the methods that I had used to overcome that perfectionism and that gratitude is something that has been a really great tool for me to learn how to let go of that perfectionism. You flip your focus, right? Yeah. Instead of the self-doubt and the critical thinking, you flip it to what you're thankful for and what things are going well. Right.

[00:23:11]
It's a totally different mindset. Yes. And that shift in the mindset was really, really helpful, not only with my children, but also with my relationship with my husband, because a lot of people know after you have kids, your relationship can really suffer with your partner because you don't have time for that relationship as much anymore. You don't make that time because you're so focused on the children, not to. Mention everything else on your plate. Right. Yeah. So attitude really helped us in that sense, too, to rebuild our relationship and help it grow at that point.

Okay, since we're talking about childhood and I'm on a quest right now in terms of children's mental health and everything that's happened over the last couple of years is certainly we're really on the brink of a crisis for a lot of reasons. So you're a fairly new parent. You go back to what you learned as a child and what you wish maybe didn't happen. What would you say to parents today that maybe would help us avoid starting to begin that self-doubt and becoming a perfectionist? What do you think?

[00:24:27]
Yeah, for sure. I'm thinking about my kids because sometimes they will do things where they're drawing a picture, and then all of a sudden, they'll just cross it off and throw it out and say, that wasn't good. I didn't like it. It's not perfect. And I say, it's okay, you're going to make mistakes.

It doesn't need to be perfect. We try to stress hard work versus and actually saying things are not always effortless. Of course, sometimes things do come easily, but having some difficulty in your life is okay. It's how you approach that difficulty. And asking for help is always good. Also recognizing that it's okay that you're not getting 100%. Right. Yeah. I'm going to put on my educator hat here, too, just to jump. Sorry, I shouldn't move on in front of me.

[00:25:29]
I'm going to put on my educator hat and my mom hat here, too. And this goes with all the principles of behavioral reinforcement and all of those things that we learn as educators. But boy, do kids respond to positive reinforcement, even the tiniest, tiniest little things. So as opposed to saying, well, that's okay, you'll do better next time. That is a wonderful what do you think you want to change for next time? You put it back on their plate and make it so that they're doing the goal setting. So I think if we can do more of that as parents, I wish I could go back in time, but I can't, and that's okay. But we can only help others to maybe think differently, and everybody thinks differently based on their background, their culture, and how they were raised themselves. So thanks for answering that. I appreciate it.

[00:26:16]
Yeah, no problem. And I was going to say, too, with my own gratitude practice, I try to encourage the kids to also have a gratitude practice, so that's what I talk about in the book is at nighttime, when we do bedtime, we will say, what did you like the most about today? Or what were you thankful for? So that they go to sleep with something positive in their head. I love it.

[00:26:40]
I love it. And another thing that my coauthor, Amber, has taught me self compassion. Huge self compassion and modeling. As a parent, we make mistakes, and what's wrong with saying to our kids, oh, I raised my voice. I shouldn't have raised my voice. I'm sorry, I'm really having a bad day. I shouldn't have done that. Because what happens on the other side, as Amber explains so eloquently, is that the kids start to think or behave that way. Mom, I blew up. I really had a bad day at school. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken out at you. And we model that. Yeah. We're all human, and it just becomes a healthy part of being.

[00:27:17]
Yeah, definitely. We shouldn't hide our feelings from our children. They're like a reflection of us. Right. So if we're doing what we want them to do and what you're saying, modeling, I think it's really helpful for them to learn how to do that as well and not to hide their feelings or bottle them up. Agreed. Okay, so I'll put you on the spot for closing comment here in terms of what is your role now with Henkaa?

[00:27:48]
So my role now is I am a co owner and managing director. And after Joanna passed, her husband and I decided that we wanted to continue with the business because we feel like more people need to know about what the message of Henkaa is and how we're helping women. So what advice would you have for other people who are business owners at this point so that they don't make the same mistakes that possibly happened in Henkaa? Yeah, I think really what happened with me was because I was feeling so much self doubt and so much grief, and I felt really alone, and I went into myself, and this is something similar that happened when I had the children and I was feeling really talented, I kind of set myself off from other people. But my advice would be, don't do that.

Reach out. You know, I did go see a therapist. In the end, that was really helpful for the business. It's been really helpful to seek other small business owners and speak to them, because what I found was that internally, I felt like people would judge me or that I was not doing enough or not doing things right. But then when you start talking to other people, you find out that they've made mistakes as well.

[00:29:15]
And there's like that common humanity there, and that support, because with small businesses, people really want to help each other. And I found that was really wonderful. And being able to connect with people and make those connections. I'm a very strong introvert, so I don't like big networking things. But being able to find a few people to talk to once in a while, to share insights, to vent, to help each other out with support has been really, really helpful.

[00:29:52]
God forbid another entrepreneur loses a partner or the owner of the business, etc, etc. But lots of things happen, as we learned over the last couple of years with Toby, that make us take a total divert, a total change. I don't like the word pivot anymore. It's overused. But your words of advice are so true because, yes, we may be in charge of a business, and our income relies on that, and our family's future relies on that. And that's a lot. That's a heavy, heavy burden to take. But we're never alone. And I've got counseling several times in my life in different forms of counseling. I've learned meditation, I'm now doing pool, yoga, all these kinds of things that help us to stay grounded and on track. But we should never feel like we're alone. And I'm so pleased that you shared those words. Small business owners are a community, and I don't know anybody. If you had reached out to me or anyone else who says, lynn and I need some help, I'm here. What can I do for you?

[00:30:47]
And vice versa. I know there's people I can call too, so I guess I would add to what you're saying, Sonia. If you don't have a network already, start to look for those, likeminded, businesses, like minded people. The business actually might look totally different than yours, but your philosophy and your belief system might be totally in line. I just had lunch two weeks ago with a woman I met online, and we are like, there's three of us and we are so connected. And I'd say there's about four people that I've met online in the last three or four years that we've now met in person, and we've become friends and that's a new network. So, yeah, anyone is listening. And never my business owner. Even for your own personal well being, have people in your life, not your children, not your spouse? Well, yes, those, of course, but to.

Have the other people who kind of expand your horizons or different people in your life provide different types of support and help to you. Right. And you can provide different types of health and support to them as well. Yeah, and I think that's really important. Excellent.

[00:31:52]
Excellent. Okay, Sonya, where can people find you. So they can find me at Henkaa. So the website is www dot. Henkaa Henkacom.

[00:32:05]
Our instagram is Henkaa. And I'm also on LinkedIn. Sonia Dong. O-N-I-A-D-O-N-G. All right?

[00:32:14]
Fantastic. We always put those links in our podcast notes and something we started, I think, three episodes ago. We're now doing full transcriptions that are available on my website, too. So trying to think about how to get the message out to people in different ways who maybe don't have the time to sit and watch or are too busy. And, you know, I'm hearing from a lot of people who are listening to not just this podcast, but are becoming podcast gurus. When we're out walking, when we're driving in our car, instead of listening to the news, you put on a podcast that inspires you, that makes you think a little bit differently. So I hope people are going to reach out to you at Henkaa. Are there any deals on the horizon, anything people can look forward to? Yeah, we do have a section that is for clearance products. We are planning a little bit of a summer clear out soon as well.

[00:33:04]
If you want to try us out. Check us out. You can go on our website and get onto a mailing list and that's the best way to be the first one to know about any kinds of promotions and new products and any kind of new inspiration and also styling tips because we have tons of videos and tons of tips for people on how to style the dresses and reuse them. We have a place here in Kingsville called Cindy's where they sell scarves and they have videos of, I don't know, 20 different ways to use a scarf and I never even thought of half of them. So I look forward to taking a look at those tips as well.

[00:33:40]
Thank you again, Sonia Dong joining us today, and all the best of health and happiness to you. Thank you, Ellen, I appreciate it. Okay, now introducing our next guest. Wouldn't it be amazing if each of us joined a mission to become the CEO of our own health? Incredible.

[00:33:57]
That's what our next guest, Marg Wallace will be talking about. She's the founder of Wallace for Wellness. She's going to be talking about some game changing technology that is quietly gaining acceptance across Europe, has been approved by Canada Health and puts us in a much more proactive place. Now, I can't let the cat out of the bag, but taking a couple of weeks off. We'll see you with Margaret on the 28 September.
 

(MUSIC OUTRO) Thanks for tuning in and posting your review of taking the helm on your favorite platform. We'll give you a shout out in a future episode.To be inspired by people who are steering us in the right direction. Go to lynnmclaughlin.com where you can search previous guests by the topic of your choice. And while you're there, download Lynn's gift. There's more than one way to get through a crisis.

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